


Worst Fears

by SalaciousShipping, SapphireSins



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: Age Difference, F/M, Hallucination Rape, Hallucinations, M/M, References to Slade’s comic canon relationship with Terra, Teenagers in sexual situations, fear toxin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:02:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22219738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SalaciousShipping/pseuds/SalaciousShipping, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireSins/pseuds/SapphireSins
Summary: The non-con is only in your mindWhen Slade had ordered that specialty mask, knowing full well it would land in Robin’s hands, he thought he would be around to enjoy the effects. To see the poor titan driven to desperation by his own fears. His own nightmares.Only now he was dead, in a relative sense at least. Trigon has granted him some freedom, and with that freedom he was able to set his old plans into motion, just a little push was all it took and well...it really was so nice of Robin to keep his mask in such a convenient location for a show. Still, he never would have guessed just how that small amount of potent fear powder (courtesy of the scarecrow) would truly affect his old appearance.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Slade Wilson, past Tara Markov/Slade Wilson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set between Haunted and Birthmark.
> 
> Given the high ambiguity of the teen titans age in the show (Robin is likely between 17-19 by the season that this is set in) this is tagged as underage. Either way there are very large age gaps in this story between Slade and Robin.
> 
> Roleplay between SalaciousShipping and I!
> 
> POV changes every paragraph or so

Robin was stressed out to say the least. After everything that had happened with Terra he had hoped they’d seen the last of Slade, the last of every mess the man had been the cause of. He didn’t want to think about him at all, so he decided to put the remnants of the man in their storage room after nearly 6 months. He didn’t think anything of the dust on the mask he had looked at, didn’t even connect the dots until much, much later… 

That night was when he first thought he saw something. It was out of the corner of his eye going through the halls in Titan’s tower but it was enough to make him head to their computer and run for breaches. When nothing came up, he hesitantly headed back to his room. He got into bed after undressing and let himself calm down with a book. It didn’t take him too long before he was yawning and setting the story down, turning the lights off to finally sleep.  
  
He was drifting off when he felt something in the room with him, a presence… He furrowed his brows and rubbed at his eyes as he looked around, his heart beating in his chest. He went to turn the light on but thats when it grabbed his wrist. He let out a startled noise, kicking off his blankets and looked up at his assailant. His heart nearly stopped as he saw the half glint of a metal mask, the cold eye staring down at him. He scrambled, kicking and tearing at the man grabbing him, a desperate yell escaping his lungs as he struggled. “ _Slade,_ how did you- stop- let go! Get off of me! Stop!!” he screamed desperately. 

‘Slade’ only held Robin’s hand tighter as he started to struggle, his other hand moving to cover Robin’s mouth, muffling the noise he was making before chuckling down at him. “Robin Robin Robin. Have you forgotten how your own security works?” He asked, his hand moving from where it was covering his mouth to caress over his cheek. “Your door is still locked. No one can hear you through the sound proofing. You’re here, all alone, with me.” He purred, leaning his head down over Robin’s so they were nearly touching and asked, softly, “Miss me?”

Robin thrashed his head as Slade moved a hand over his mouth, a desperate noise escaping him as he moved one hand up to try and pull at his wrist, the other hand reaching to try and push at Slade’s chest, his legs doing the same. He furrowed his brows with Slade’s words, then grit his teeth as the hand finally came off of his mouth. “Let go of me!! Titans!!” he screamed, then jerked his head back as Slade moved that hand to caress his cheek. With his words, he was cursing and wondered desperately how Slade got in here without him noticing. He had spent an hour reading!

  
He couldn’t focus on that as Slade kept talking and even moved his head towards his own, making him gasp and still for a moment. He went wide eyed and breathed in heavily with his tone. “No- no. You- You’ll pay for what you did to Terra, let go!” he yelled, getting sense to him and punched Slade square in the face. He scrambled on the bed to try and put distance between them but groaned as Slade kept hold of his wrist. He whimpered as he tried to get out of his grip, panting as he yanked but whimpered with pain as Slade twisted it. “Let go! What do you want? T-Terra, she’s gone- She’s gone, if you want that, I don’t know where she is!” he panicked, trying to put sense to why Slade would sneak in here after such a long time.

Slade didn’t make a sound as he was hit, almost as if it didn’t affect him at all, even though the force of it did send him slightly back. “Now Robin, is that any way to greet an old friend?” Slade asked, his grip on Dick’s hand turning punishing. Still, he paused at the mention of Terra, his head tilting slightly “Terra? Oh no no no Robin. _This_ is all about you.” He said, pulling of Robin’s wrist and tugging hard before spinning him and wrenching his arm while doing so to pin it behind his back and leaning down to his ear. “It’s always been about _you_ .” He whispered, softly, almost like a caress as his free hand moved to Dick’s hip. “Terra...well. We’ll get to _her_ later~” he purred, his free hand squeezing Dick’s hip.

Robin cried out in pain at his wrist, his fighting going a little weak in fear of hurting his wrist further, scared Slade would let it snap out of place. As Slade tilted his head, he furrowed his brows, fear going through him as Slade said this was about him. “No- no, It’s not- It’s not” he breathed, trying to kick out at Slade again only for the man to pull at his wrist. He cried out as he was yanked and had his arm twisted behind his back. He was half on, half off the bed and propped up on one knee, the other digging into the bed frame.  
  
He used his free arm to try and push at the bed, whimpering as Slade leaned down to whisper into his ear. “ _No._ No, get off!” he cried, then let out a noise as Slade’s free hand found his hip. He squeezed his eyes closed, shaking his head as he struggled back against the man’s grip on him, trying desperately to free himself. “Stop, stop, get off of me! We’re done, we’re done with all that shit! Stop!” He cried, terrified Slade was going to bring up the apprenticeship crap now that Terra had failed him.

“Oh apprentice, you’ll never be done with me.” Slade assured him. The hand on Robin’s hip digging in hard enough to bruise before it started to move. Running slowly up Robin’s side “you were jealous of her weren’t you Robin?” Slade asked, the hand moving under Robin’s pajama shirt, “of the...relationship we had.” He said, a certain phrasing to the term ‘relationship’ that made it obvious exactly what Slade really meant “I wonder...would you have been more cooperative had I offered you such an incentive too?” He asked, tilting his head as if studying Robin “well, we can certainly fix that now.”

Robin’s breath left him as Slade called him apprentice, his brows furrowing as he looked back up at him the best he could pressed down against the bed. “Stop- just stop, What do you want, Slade??” He asked desperately, struggling and trying to pull himself forward away from the man as his hand dug into his hip. “Ow! S-Stop!” He groaned, panting and whimpering quietly as Slade did stop the pain but instead ran his hand up his side. His words hit him like a ton of bricks, a soft breath leaving him before he frantically shook his head no. It got worse as Slade said _what_ he was jealous of and shook his head, squeezing his eyes closed as his mind supplied memories of the way Terra would hang on Slade while she gloated, while she ruled and made it very clear to anyone with eyes what She and Slade had.  
  
As Slade asked if he would of been cooperative if he had offered the same, he was gasping and groaning, gritting his teeth as he thrashed under Slade. “No! Get off of me you disgusting-” he yelled but as the man said they could fix it, a cold fear went through him. “You can’t- y-you- Slade- You can’t-!” he cried, trying to push back into Slade, away from him, anything as Slade kept touching him. He groaned, frustrated tears pricking at his eyes. “I haven’t- Slade, let go of me! It’ll never happen, I’ll never help you again, stop! This won’t get you anything!” he cried, trying to pull himself onto the bed and away from Slade. 

Slade chuckled, deep and echoing, the sound seeming to fill the room as Slade pressed just that little bit closer, their bodies flush. “It will get me you. You know it will and that _terrifies_ you.” He hissed into Robin’s ear, the hand under Robin’s shirt moving down now towards his crotch. “It terrifies you to know how much you truly want this. The _things_ that seeing Terra like that opened up in you. The realizations it brought.” He rolled his own hips forward, a hardness there evident. “It scares you doesn’t it apprentice? To realize that, this whole time your obsession wasn’t just about ‘bringing me down’”

Robin squeezed his eyes closed, crying out desperately as Slade pressed closer, feeling the hint of something hard push up against his ass. The fear it brought him made him cry out, made him scramble and tear at the sheets, trying desperately to pull himself away from Slade. “Don’t!” he cried as Slade moved a hand lower and said it would get _him_ . She shook his head, sobbing as Slade brought up how seeing Terra with Slade made him jealous.  
“No- no, get off of me! I don’t want this!” he screamed, then gasped and went wide eyed as Slade rocked against him, making it very clear how hard he was. “No!” He cried, groaning as he slipped on the bed, both feet hitting the floor as Slade held him tight, kept him bent over the bed just how he wanted him. He shook his head as Slade asked if it scared him to know that this was what he wanted.

“I don’t want this- Please, Slade, there has to be something else!” he begged now, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. “Anything but this, stop!” he cried, tears dripping down his face now. 

Slade chuckled, low and dark as his hand vanished from Dick’s body, just for a second, until suddenly there was a mouth on Dick’s neck. He licked at the skin there a rumbling groan leaving his lips before he bit, _hard_ , high enough that the mark would be visible for anyone to see. “You do beg so wonderfully apprentice. You always have.” He purred, moving his hand down to Robin’s sleep pants and pushing under, cupping him and stroking. “Maybe if you’re good and give in-“ he whispered, continuing to kiss along his neck and stroking him “I’ll let you prep yourself, rather then just taking you raw.” 

Robin squirmed, then gasped as Slade moved his hand away from his crotch, a small glimmer of hope that Slade was actually stopping hit him. That was soon destroyed however as he felt Slade’s lips against his neck. He cried out with it, trying to shrug his shoulder to make it difficult on Slade but the man was already firmly against his neck, licking and suddenly sinking his teeth into his neck. He screamed with pain, his body jolting with it as the sensation seemed to run through his veins. The tears fell thicker as he gasped desperately for air, shivering as his neck throbbed with pain.

“Stop...stop- Slade, please” he gasped quietly, twisting his trapped arm in an attempt to free it as Slade talked. As a hand moved down to his pants and pushed in to cup him, he was arching his back with another, softer cry. “No! No! Slade, Stop!” he sobbed, his body shivering as pleasure built up with each stroke of the man’s hand. He turned his head away from Slade, exposing more of his neck but didn’t care, needing to turn his face away. As Slade said if he was good, he’d let him prep himself, he was whimpering and shaking his head, gasping in deeply.  
“Please don’t- I don’t have- I- you can’t, Slade you can’t” he sobbed, a trembling mess as he still tried to squirm away from him. He pulled at the bed, the sheets, trying anything to get up onto the bed so he could hit the panic button on the other side in the wall. He was stopped short though as a particularly good stroke had him moaning in surprise. “Don’t...don’t- Slade...S-Slade” he sobbed, shaking his head a little. 

“You know,” Slade said softly, his hand moving back to cup Robin’s balls, rolling them between his fingers as he started to kiss down his shoulders, “I’m almost surprised at how fast this seems to have broken you apprentice. You used to have so much _fight_ but now...now I have you sobbing and begging under me.” He bit him again, his hips moving forward to grind into him “it’s absolutely delect-“ the sound of his voice was cut off by a bright flash of light as lighting hit close to the tower, the sound of rain hitting the window soon followed along with the rumble of thunder as the pressure on Robin’s back vanished for just a moment.

Robin whimpered sharply as Slade cupped his balls, the sensation making him shift his hips uncomfortably as he pulled at the bed weakly. “Stop...ah- stop…” he gasped, pinching his shoulder blades together in another attempt to get Slade off. As Slade talked, it had him crying harder, his eyes aching as the tears slipped down his face. “No...no” he whimpered, then cried out as Slade bit him again, his body arching with it, his hips pushing back as Slade ground forward into him. “AAh!!” He cried, then gasped as Slade suddenly stopped, suddenly pulled off of him. He didn’t have time to think or wonder, didn’t have time as his body moved on its own, throwing himself over the bed. He scrambled and slammed his fist onto the panic button so hard it hurt. He then turned his head back, looking up to see Slade in his peripheral for just the briefest of moments before the emergency lights cut on, the room filling with red as a siren went off.  
He pulled himself back, grabbing the blankets and quickly shoving them onto his lap as he heard his team running down the hall. He looked around the room desperately, his entire body trembling as his mind raced, trying to figure out where Slade went. 

He cried out as something grabbed him, then gasped, hyperventilating as he realized it was just Starfire hugging him close.  
  
“Robin what is wrong??” She asked with concern as the other titans followed in behind her.  
  
“S-Slade he- he was just- he was just here. He was- He…” Robin yammered, still looking around the room wide eyed and confused. “Where...he...He was just here, you have to believe me!” he yelled as the other titans looked at him with confused frowns.  
  
“Robin, man, I’m running a scan and we’re the only ones in the tower. Are you sure it wasn’t just a nightmare? Besides, dudes been dead for half a year” Cyborg tried to comfort him, showing his arm and the heat signatures. 

Robin shook his head, holding onto Starfire as he struggled to calm down. “No! He was just here! He was- He-” he struggled, then furrowed his brows and instead closed his eyes, burying his face against Starfire. He couldn’t tell them what Slade had been doing...he couldn’t… 

The others looked at each other, concern on all of their expressions before another bolt of lightning struck outside, causing beastboy to jump and yelp into Cyborgs arms. There was silence for a moment before Cyborg spoke up “so uh...how about we do a living room sleepover? You know, just in case?” He offered, “could run a few more in-depth scans from there too.” 

“Ya!” BeastBoy said a little too quickly before letting out a bit of an embarrassed laugh “I mean, not that I’m worried or scared or anything. I mean Slade’s not someone to be afraid of! I just-you know-“ another flash of lighting as the tower rumbled slightly as the thunder hit soon after. There was a sigh from Raven who had hung back by the door. 

“I’ll get the blankets and pillows.” She grumbled before floating off. 

“And all get started on those scans” Cyborg added, letting BeastBoy drop with a ‘hey!’

_Slade had watched everything from the deep recesses of Trigon’s domain. Trigon had easily granted him access to view inside of the tower under the guise of studying how best to influence his daughter, but he certainly wasn’t going to limit his surveillance to that. So he had been able to watch everything as Robin was overcome by the fear toxin, and he was pinned down and tried to fight, and then...then…_

_Slade couldn’t see what Robin was seeing, couldn’t hear what was being told to him. All he could see and hear was what Robin was saying and doing but it was enough to infer certain, very interesting, things. Mainly that Robin was afraid of him, and afraid of him in a very sexual sense which was...interesting._

_Slade shutdown his little portal that let him view into Robin’s room as the other titans burst in, knowing there was going to be nothing else worth watching and sat back to think about just what this development meant._

Robin had easily agreed to the sleepover idea, needing as much comfort as he could get after dealing with Slade. His mind raced however and he was still awake by the time everyone had fallen asleep. He stared at the dim lights of the computers, watching as they searched for anyone but their registered signatures and continually told him no one else was in the tower. It didn’t make sense… None of it made sense and it hurt to think about. All he knew was that the titans believed him on some level. They could see the bruising on his wrist, and if they had seen past his constant hiding of his neck, the bruise forming there too. They agreed that something hurt him, but he could tell they struggled with the idea that it was Slade. 

He eventually got some sleep, but it was restless sleep for a long time. He woke to the smell of breakfast, to the bickering of his friends and wondered for a moment if it all _had_ been a nightmare. 

The day went by as normal but he was a paranoid mess, especially as they got a call in the evening that Cinderblock was making a mess of the pier. They moved out, his team able to focus on the task at hand but as they fought, he swore he’d seen something else _Someone_ else running in the shadows of the abandoned buildings Cinderblock was tearing through. At the first glance of orange however, he was shouting back to his team. “It’s Slade, he’s here!” and racing off despite the team’s overwhelming fight with the creature. He didn’t think as he ran, between shipping crates and into storage buildings. He followed as Slade ran, eventually so deep and so disoriented he wasn’t sure _where_ they were anymore.  
  
“Slade! Fight me for real this time, you coward! How did you get into the tower last night?? What do you _really_ want?” He demanded, baton extended all the way in hopes of keeping Slade from grabbing him in close combat. 

Slade seemed to come out of nowhere as soon as Robin called him out, appearing behind him in a flash only to send a send a sharp kick to his back, sending him flying across the darkened warehouse before vanishing again. “I see you’ve missed me apprentice.” Slade’s voice called, filling the whole room, coming from no distinct direction, before another kick hit Robin, this time on his side. He didn’t vanish this time as he sent Robin flying, instead standing a few feet away from him, hands behind his back as he gave Robin a once-over “It is a shame that we were interrupted so rudely last time. I was so looking forward to finishing our little game. Tell me, did your friends notice the mark I gave you?” He teased, starting to move forward.

Robin went wide eyed and cried out as he was kicked, crashing into the ground with a pained groan but quickly got himself up and started to keep an even pace as he looked around the room, trying not to stay still like before to make it harder on Slade to kick him. “Fuck off, stop calling me that!” he cried, just barely seeing Slade this time but it didn’t matter as he was kicked again. He hit the ground hard, his baton falling from his hand and sliding with his momentum into the ground. He scrambled onto his ass instead, looking up at Slade with wide, fearful eyes.  
  
He furrowed his brows as Slade talked, a hand moving up to cover his neck, even his high collar not enough to cover the bruise. “No! We’re not finishing anything- they didn’t- just- just shut up!” he cried. As Slade started to move, he was quick to get up and dive for his baton. He grabbed it with a front flip before swinging his body and the baton. He smacked the weapon down on the place Slade was just standing only for him to not be there. He went wide eyed, and looked around as his breath started to pick up. “Stop running! Just fight me!” he yelled, a desperate tone to his voice as he tried to find where in the warehouse Slade was, his movements much more frantic now as he tried to avoid getting kicked. 

“Fight you?” Slade’s voice called out from the darkness, a flash of orange to Robin’s left pulling his attention that way only for a hard punch to appear from the right. “You know I’m not here for that Robin.” Slade answered, even as he went right into another punch combination, driving Robin further back into the depths of the warehouse with each move while Robin’s own attacks seemed to have no effect, not a single one landing. A final kick sent Robin hurtling back into the wall with a ‘thunk’ but Slade was upon him in moments, not letting him fall as he pinned him. “I’m here for so much more Robin. Something we _both_ want.” He purred, pinning Robin’s wrists above his head with one hand as he leaned in to get right into his face. “This would be so much easier for you my dear apprentice if you just gave in.”

Robin looked to his left only to be punched from the right, making him cry out as he stumbled. He tried to avoid Slade as he started punching him more, making him retreat back in an attempt to stop him as he couldn’t land any hits. “Damnit Slade--” He growled only to be kicked a final time, causing him to hit the wall with a hard impact. He barely had time to breath before Slade was on him, pinning him up against the wall. He cried out with it, fear pumping away in his chest as he struggled against his hold, shaking his head as Slade said he was here for what they both wanted. “No! Let go of me!” he cried desperately as Slade pinned both of his wrists above his head. He tried to knee him, tried to kick and squirm but it wasn’t working.  
  
As Slade got right into his face, he was whimpering and turning his head away to the side, gritting his teeth with it. “I won’t! I don’t want this, let go of me! They’ll hear you! The Titans will stop you so just get off!!” he cried as he thrashed in his hold. 

Slade laughed darkly at that. His free hand starting to move over Robin’s body just like it had the night before, somehow knowing _exactly_ where to touch and how to touch him, giving him pleasure even as he fought it. “Are you sure you want them to hear this Robin? Hear you begging me? Hear you call my name? See just _what_ you’ve become for me?” He asked, not wasting anymore time as his hand moved down to Robin’s crotch, rubbing him through his uniform. “I know you’ve thought about this Robin.” He went on, voice a deep rumble that seemed to come from further then just the mask. “You’ve _dreamed_ about it.” He chuckled, head tilting “or perhaps that was more a nightmare?”

Robin gasped sharply as Slade moved his hand over his body, making him squirm and gasp out as he touched him. “Mh-! Mhh- S-stop! Stop!” He gasped, fidgeting and squirming against Slade’s hold. He then shook his head at Slade’s words, his legs shifting to try and squeeze together so Slade couldn’t touch him. “I-I haven’t become anything. Let go of me, I don’t want this!” He groaned with frustration. As Slade got his hand between his legs however, he was crying out with surprise, then biting his own bottom lip to hold back a moan.  
  
He furrowed his brows as Slade talked, trying to pull his hands free while squirming his legs to try and get the man’s hand away. With his words, he was gasping and shaking his head, thrashing harder now as his words hit him wrong with how _right_ they were. He had thought about it, since seeing the way Terra acted with Slade, he wondered if the apprenticeship would of ever gotten to that level as well. He whimpered, gasping as Slade said he dreamed about it. He glared weakly, biting his own lip roughly as he tried to tug his hands free.  
“It’s always a nightmare when you’re involved, now let me go! Stop, get your hands off of me-aAH! Oh!” he cried only to jerk and throw his head back against the wall as Slade rubbed at him just right through his uniform, a pitiful sob following soon after. “No...no, no, stop” he whined quietly, hands twitching in Slade’s hold as no matter what he did, he couldn’t seem to shake him. 

Slade let out his own deep moan as he heard Robin cry out in what was so obviously pleasure. “Seems I did something right hm?” Slade asked as he pressed closer, moving his hand away and instead replacing it with his thigh, pushing it between Robin’s own as grinding it up. “It terrifies you doesn’t it?” Slade whispered to him, continuing to play with him perfectly, every touch calculated to give Robin the most pleasure. “Just how quickly I’ve managed to work you up. How easily your body has responded to me.” He purred, “how much it wants me, even as your mind continues to fight that want.”

Robin shivered despite the disgust forming in him as Slade moaned, the sound going straight to his dick. “Mh- Fuck you! Get off of me!” he cried desperately, squeezing his eyes closed as Slade moved them about. As that thigh pressed up against him, he was gasping sharply and arching his back with it. “Ah! Stop!” he cried in surprise, the pleasure of it running up his spine. He shook his head with Slade’s words, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as he grit his teeth, trying so hard not to listen to the man. “No- No, it’s just a reaction I can’t control. I don’t actually want this! You’re a creep!” he yelled desperately but despite his words, couldn’t stop the moan that ripped from his mouth. “Mhh! I don’t...ah- I don’t want this...I don’t want _you_ ” he whimpered.  
He squirmed his legs, trying to push Slade’s thigh away but all it did was give him more friction, made it feel all that much better. He looked at Slade weakly, gasping quietly as he saw him staring down at him with such a piercing gaze. He squeezed his eyes closed, shaking his head as he tried to turn it away again. “Please stop… please, the- my team will be here any second- They’ll stop you” he gasped, whimpering quietly. 

“Just like they stopped me before?” Slade asked, though his voice was almost soft now, almost inching into apologetic “and the time before that? How many times has your little playmates ‘stopped’ me Robin? And how many times have I come back?” Slade asked, his touches not stopping for a second as he grabbed Robin’s hip and started to force him to move. “Face It Robin, you will never be free of me. You know that and, hmm,” Slade thought for a moment “that doesn’t scare you does it? Knowing that I’ll always be around. No. That actually brings you _comfort_ how...interesting.” Slade mumbled, almost pausing for a moment, his hold of Robin seeming to loosen for just a moment before tightening again. “No, what frightens you is _knowing_ that my continued existence brings you comfort.” 

Robin squeezed his eyes closed, shaking his head as Slade brought up all the times he came back after being ‘stopped’. As his hip was grabbed though, he was crying out at the sudden pleasure, his head falling back again as he was forced to rock his hips forward against Slade’s thigh. “No! Stop, let go!” he demanded. He gasped, breathing hard as he was forced to listen to Slade but as the man faltered, he looked up at him weakly. He furrowed his brows, laying his head back against the wall. “What are you talking about?” he whimpered, trying to take advantage of his momentary lax to try and pull himself free but the man was tightening straight back up. He grit his teeth and cried out, gasping as Slade pressed his thigh in and pulled his hips forward at the same time. His cock twitched and he moaned quietly with pleasure.  
  
“You’re insane! You don’t bring me comfort! You’re nothing but a pain in my side and I-ah- Ah! You’re- you...ah…” he gasped, losing his words as Slade built up a perfect rhythm, the free hand exploring his body making him curse at all the places he seemed to be finding. “The only...mh- comfort I get will be when you- ah… are locked up- Nh! S-stop, stop- Oh!” he cried, the pleasure in his gut twisting and heating further. “Oh fuck, stop- Slade- S-slade- I-” he breathed, shivering as he felt his orgasm creeping up on him. He couldn’t cum, not like this, not with _Slade_ being the cause!

Slade simply ground harder as Robin neared edge, watching him intently again as he worked to push him over. “Stop resisting Robin, the sooner you give in the sooner this will all be over.” Slade told him, his free hand moving up to caress Robin’s cheek in an almost comforting manner. “I can feel how much you want to, even though you hate it.” He pressed his leg up just right as he leaned in to whisper into Robin’s ear “cum for me Robin.”

Robin moaned as Slade ground his thigh against him harder, pushing against him so perfectly it was almost concerning how he knew what set him off. He whimpered quietly, looking up at Slade with half lidded eyes, his breathing hard and fast as he struggled not to give in. He shook his head but that was stopped as Slade moved that soft hand to his cheek, a broken little whimper escaping him as his hips rocked against Slade’s thigh.  
“Please stop...don’t do this- please, Slade- SlaaAahh-! N-No-” he moaned as Slade talked, then as the man leaned in and whispered into his ear, he couldn’t stop himself as his orgasm hit.  
  
“Sl-AH! SLADE!” he cried, his body convulsing, arching as he came hard in his uniform. He collapsed back against the wall, now loose in Slade’s hold as a quiet little sob bubbled up from his throat. Tears broke the seal on his mask, slowly dripping down his face as he weakly looked up at Slade, then closed his eyes as he heard something from outside. 

Slade lowered Robin down to the floor, almost gentle in his movements as he did so. He watched the tears start to seep from his eyes and, after a moment, lightly started to wipe them away. “Good boy Robin.” He mumbled softly, a gentle praise before his head turned at the noise. “It seems your friends have finally chosen to show up.” He mumbled, standing up and moving away. “I might try and put that cape of yours to good use, seeing as they might...notice something.” He indicated down before starting to fade into the shadows “I’ll be seeing you around apprentice, very soon in fact.”

Robin leaned his head back against the wall as he was lowered down, his legs crumbling beneath him as he sat back, focusing now on his breathing even as Slade kept touching him gently. He furrowed his brows as Slade moved his hands up and wiped at his tears which just made him feel worse. He turned his head away with a small whimper, the warm feeling that went through him at Slade’s praise making him feel sick. He was being so soft now and he hated it, it made everything that much worse. 

He looked up at Slade weakly as the man got up and moved back, his words making him realize how much of a mess he had made of himself. He did pull the cape into his lap and squeezed his eyes closed as Slade said he’d be back soon.  
  
That caused anger to flare up in him and he leaned forward, yelling into the darkness. “I’ll make you pay for what you’re doing!! You hear me Slade!?” He yelled, then swallowed thickly before letting out a quiet sob, pulling his knees up to his chest as he heard his friends rush in.  
  
As they came over, he just shook his head as they asked what happened, instead holding himself tightly as he kept the cape tucked between his thighs. Instead of telling the truth, he told a half truth. “He’s trying to...to convince me to be his apprentice… He keeps going after me. I know you haven’t seen him but he’s _real_ . He’s alive and...and he’s targeting me, you have to believe me” he begged them.  
  
The look Raven had made him uncomfortable, like she was seeing right through him. He couldn’t tell her… he couldn’t explain what was really going on. They just...they just needed to help bring him down. “He says he’ll be back...I-I’ll be ready for him… I’m taking him down. Even if I don’t have anyones help” he growled out as he got up, pushing past his team as he made his way out, keeping the cape close as he made his way home. 

“Dude-“ Cyborg tried to call out to him as he pushed past, Starfire also reaching out for him before Raven places a hand on her shoulder. “Beastboy, why don’t you go with Robin, make sure he’s not left alone. The rest of us will search this place. If Slade was here we might be able to find some sign of him.” Cyborg nodded in agreement and beastboy ran off to follow Robin and while Starfire looked worried towards where Robin had left she eventually turned to help with the search. Raven, for her part, turned and stared at an empty section of rafters, high above their heads, for a moment she could have sworn she had felt a presence. Not Slade but...something else. Something far worse. She shivered. Her birthday was months away, she still had time. Right now they had other things to worry about.

_Slade almost felt bad using one of Trigon’s foot soldiers to spy on Robin, but it at least gave him the opportunity to test their control and abilities. He wasn’t able to watch him all the time though, the risks of Trigon’s daughter discovering something was amiss being far too high, so he was relying purely on luck when it came to tracking Robin’s ‘progress’ outside of the tower._

_And luck seemed to be on his side as he ordered a solder to manifest at Robin’s location, somewhere discreet and hidden, allowing only the head to form so he could see through its eyes._

_And oh the things he saw. The angle and view from the rafters wasn’t the best, but it was enough to see just how beat up Robin looked, having obviously been fighting just a few moment before, but now he was pinned helpless to the wall behind him by an invisible force and the way his hips were moving left nothing to the imagination about exactly what was going on._

_The show didn’t last overly long, Slade only getting lucky enough to catch the tail end of it, but he found himself enthralled with watching as Robin’s orgasm finally hit, and wishing he had a closer view to see exactly what his expression was._

_The titans arrived soon after and Slade dismissed the solder, the scene fading before him as he sat back, again in thought. Really, this whole thing was just becoming more and more interesting by the day._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please mind the tags!

Things hadn’t gotten any better as they all got back to the tower, he knew he was being short with them, snappy but he didn’t like their prying questions. The looks they gave him set him on edge the most, the fact that they were _questioning_ him made him paranoid. Why didn’t they believe him? Just because Slade was _only_ targeting him? It wasn’t fair!

He paced the main room, looking up at the surveillance cameras, all trained on places he had documented Slade being before. There was nothing, no signs of anything, no life, no activity. He growled, then couldn’t stop himself as he punched the chair nearest him, hearing it clatter to the floor, something break. He leaned back against the desk, gritting his teeth and squeezing his eyes closed as he tightened hands in his hair. He couldn’t stop _thinking_ about him either! 

His words haunted him, wore on every fiber of his being. He didn’t want him, he wasn’t comforting, he wasn’t _anything_ to him! He was an enemy and that was it! Just because Terra decided to...to… it didn’t mean _he_ wanted something like that! Slade was just getting in his head! He growled and slammed his hands back on the desk, the monitor jumping almost as hard as he did when someone piped up.

“You should really get some rest, Robin… I know you’re stressed out but you’re just making it worse by letting your thoughts consume you…” Raven said quietly from the door, furrowing her brows as she watched Robin glare at her.  
Robin went wide eyed, but soon glared and pushed away from the desk, clenching his hands. “I can’t just _stop_ , Raven! It might be easy for you but it’s not for me! I **_have_** to stop him!” Robin yelled desperately but stumbled back as he realized his own tone, the slight look of surprise on Raven’s face making him stop.

“...I can help you sleep Robin, if you need it… I can help you with all of this if you’d let me” she offered, knowing Robin knew she saw something was wrong, something deeper than what he was letting on. 

“NO! It’s bad enough you all don’t believe me! Just...just leave me alone!” he yelled, pushing past her and running for his room instead. He paced, double and triple checking that he didn’t let the door lock, not wanting the sound proofing to activate incase Slade found his way into his room again.

That night he sat in bed on his tablet, watching the same surveillance feed from before. Exhaustion slowly set in however and he fell asleep to his dimly lit room, bed lamp and tablet shining on him. 

The next day however was when it all really exploded. Cyborg came back with his scans of the pier, showing him reports of everything they had looked over and finally showed the evidence that Slade had never been in the area. He refused it, instead he stormed out of the tower, yelling that he’d find the damned evidence himself. He turned off his tracker out of blind rage, deciding that if his team was going to tell him he was wrong, he didn’t need them getting in his way. He didn’t know where he was really going, but eventually found himself at the clock tower. 

He stared up at the building, swallowing hard before pushing himself forward and into the abandoned and decayed tower. He didn’t know if Slade would be here but old habits die hard and he hoped it was where he was working out of. He tried to stay quiet, tried to stay out of sight and stick to the deep shadows of the building. As he heard something though, he was jolting and looking around wildly, his breathing picking up as he saw something move. He couldn’t get himself to speak however, struck with fear that Slade really was here and he had fallen into his trap. 

Slade appeared out of the shadows in front of Robin, his head tilted slightly as his single eye roamed over Robin’s body. “I was wondering when you would come searching for me Robin.” He said, his eye moving back up to catch Robin’s, “though I was expecting at least a few more days.” An emotion crossed Slade’s visible eye soon after though though, a look that could only be described as _concern._ “You look terrible apprentice, Have you not been sleeping well?” He asked mildly, taking a step forward. “I can help you with that if you need.” He offered, though it was obvious just what that offer entailed. 

Robin actually let out a startled yelp as Slade appeared in front of him, making him stumble back and nearly trip on some rubble as his heart beat hard in his chest. Walking backwards as Slade looked him over, he frowned at his words and glared. “I’m _only_ here to stop you” he growled out, clenching his hands as he watched him. As their eyes met, his chest ached with anxiety, everything in him feeling so on edge as the man watched him. As _concern_ crossed his eye though, Robin was faltering and letting out a soft sound of pain. No. No, he didn’t actually care! “That’s none of your business!” He cried as he pulled out his baton, clenching it roughly as Slade talked, his words making his stomach hurt.

“Fuck no! Don’t you _dare_ touch me! Just fight me already! This is the end of the line, Slade, I’m taking you down no matter what!” he yelled as he charged the man, trying to hit him with his baton but Slade easily avoided it. 

Slade didn’t seem to be bothering to fight back, simply sidestepping all of Robin’s attacks as if it wasn’t difficult at all. He lead Robin deeper and deeper into the clock tower with each dodge, driving both of them closer to the main area where large monitors laid, broken and inoperable before them. Only then did Slade attack, reaching out and grabbing Robin’s baton and twisting it from his grasp before his other hand shot out for his wrist, in a few quick moves he had Robin on his elbows and knees under him, one arm wrenched behind his back as Slade leaned over him and whispered. “Well this is certainly familiar isn’t it? Tell me Robin, was this the moment the first thought of me fucking you wormed it’s way into your mind?” He asked, pressing close against his back “the first time I told you to call me ‘master’?”

Robin put all his energy into the attacks, into each swing of his baton, desperate to land _something_ on Slade. The man seemed to predict all of his movements though, every little attack on his part. He was three steps ahead and he didn’t know how to fight against him. It wasn’t fair. Where had he been training all this time to get _this_ good? As Slade suddenly attacked him, he was crying out and completely caught off guard. His weak body made it easy for Slade to pin him down against the floor. He cried out with frustration, his body already trembling as Slade leaned over him.

His words had him shaking his head, gritting his teeth with frustration as he talked, his words seeming to strike every single nerve he had. “No...no” He gasped, whimpering as he tried weakly to pull himself from Slade’s grasp. “I’ve never wanted you to fuck me, get off! I don’t want this...please, I just want you out of my life, out of my head!” he yelled, not knowing how real the last one was. 

Slade hummed at that and only pressed closer, pressing Robin’s upper body harshly against the floor. “I would almost be willing to believe you, at least, if I didn’t have proof otherwise.” Slade told him, voice right next to his ear, “perhaps you don’t want me to fuck you.” He mumbled, voice low and, suddenly he was biting gently at the lobe of Robin’s ear, mask gone. “It terrifies you to think of me doing so. Though...is that only because I would be your first? How...unexpected.” Slade chuckled, “though I can make it good for you Robin, if you would only cooperate, because we both know you don’t _really_ want me gone not at all.” He teased, moving his lips down Robin’s neck to bite a line along it.

Dick cried out with pain as Slade pushed him down against the floor roughly, his words setting him on edge. “There’s no proof! It’s not true, let me go!” he yelled, then gasped as Slade talked right next to his ear. He shook his head as Slade said he didn’t want him to fuck him, then went wide eyed and cried out as Slade was suddenly biting at his ear. How did he get his mask off? He didn’t let go of him- He whined sharply at his words, as Slade’s lips grazed his ear. He turned his head away, squeezing his eyes closed. His voice was still that deep, muffled drawl but he couldn’t really focus on all the ways this wasn’t making sense, his mind glossing them over as Slade teased him about him being his first and how it was unexpected.

“Shut up! Shut up, let go of me!” he cried as Slade started to move his lips against his neck, biting along it and making him moan in surprise. “No...no, no, please don’t! Please- you can’t, I-I don’t have anything for it- it’ll hurt, please dont!” he yelled desperately, squirming in Slade’s hold as he tried to free his arm.

Slade ignores him completely, simply continuing to bit and lick at any part of him he could, the uniform making that slightly difficult though. After a long moment Slade’s grasp on Robin’s hand adjusted, instead of it being wretched back he let it fall, relaxed, back to Robin’s side, allowing himself to put move of his weight on Robin’s body, his hand moving to his head instead and grasping his hair tight, forcing it down. “Relax Robin. You’ll only make this worse for yourself.” He told him, his hips shifting forward to let Robin feel just what he was in for. “You knew what you were coming here to find apprentice. You knew how this battle would go.” He said, his free hand moving over Robin’s utility belt “surely you did not come so under prepared.”

Robin bit his own bottom lip as Slade kept biting and licking at his neck, a desperate whine escaping him however. He groaned with frustration, pulling at his arm, shifting his legs the best he could as he tried to escape Slade's hold. As the man adjusted his grip on his arm, he was gasping and reaching forward, trying to pull himself out. He cried out though as Slade put more weight on him, his head yanking back as Slade grabbed his hair then shoved down against the ground. 

"Ow! Stop, stop!" He cried, then gasped as Slade ground his hips forward against his ass, a terrified sound escaping him with it. "Please don't, please, I can't do this!" He sobbed, whimpering as Slade talked, told him he knew what he was getting himself into. He grit his teeth, squeezing his eyes closed as Slade dug around in his utility belt. "No! No I only came here to stop you, not this! Let go of me!" He screamed, then gasped as Slade teasingly tapped one of his pouches with an awful chuckle. He knew the exact contents of each of his pouches so it wasn't hard to figure out what Slade found. He felt his face get hot in both shame and frustration. "Th-that isn't for this! I've always had- i- please don't! Please, Slade there has to be something else! Anything else but this!" He cried, shoulders shaking a little. 

He carried lube with him because Batman told him to, along with numerous other things he always kept in his belt. It had come in handy multiple times for numerous missions but now? Now he regretted ever putting it in there. 

“Stop fighting this Robin.” Slade told him softly, his hand moving from where it had been on Robin’s utility belt up his chest instead “you know this is going to happen. That no one is going to come for you.” He nipped at Robin’s ear as he added that part, a dark chuckle leaving him, filling the room. “Running out of your tower, locator and communicator off. Honestly Robin, you handed yourself over to me on a silver platter.” His hand moved up, running over one of Robin’s nipples and rubbing it through the suite. “I’ll give you the opportunity to prep yourself Robin, otherwise I’ll do it myself and I promise you won’t enjoy what I do. Take the lube out.”

Dick whimpered sharply as Slade moved his hand to his chest, squirming against his hold as he talked. He them gasped and looked back the best he could "how do you know that?? Let go!" He cried only to let out a startled moan as Slade pet over one of his nipples. He then sobbed and tried to push against the hand holding his head down. "I don't know how! Just- just let go of me, I don't want to do this! Slade please, I cant" he sobbed, his fighting growing weaker as he just couldn't shake him. He really was going to be raped. He couldn't stop him. He wasn't sure when he started to cry but noticed it finally as he hesitantly reached into his belt and grabbed the lube, a quiet little sob escaping him. "Please don't make me, Slade please" he whimpered pitifully. 

“You’re so _afraid_ Robin.” Slade purred softly, his body shifting on top of Robin to give him better access to himself. “But your fear is so complex isn’t it?” He hummed, his free hand moving down to the one Robin had abound the lube and guiding him to open it “you’re afraid of this, afraid of me forcing myself on you, but that’s not all is it apprentice? You’re afraid you’ll like it. You’ll enjoy it. You’ll want more.” He guided Robin’s fingers to pour some lube onto his fingers. “You want this but it terrifies you. How full of contradictions you are.” Slade hummed. “Thankfully I'm here now, I’ll _always_ be here, so you no longer get to make this choice for yourself. Go on Robin, open yourself up for me.” He said, guiding Robin’s hand back.

Robin sniffed as Slade pointed out how afraid he was, a soft noise leaving him as he let up on his back but still managed to keep him down. “Please let go...please” he whined quietly, trying to pull his hand free as Slade guided him to open and pour out some lube onto his fingers. It was messy, doing it one handed but they managed it anyway. As Slade talked, he let out a broken sob and shook his head against the ground, clenching his hand and trying to pull himself free from him. “No, no you’re wrong. I won’t like this...I don’t want this, I’ll never want this” he sobbed, clenching his hand and making a mess of the lube as he fidgeted and tried to pull away.

As Slade said he was _always_ going to be there though, he clenched his teeth to hold back a sob, but it broke through and he buried his face against the ground, shoulders shaking as he cried, his hand easily guided back as Slade moved it. “I don’t want to...I dont...I don’t, please” he whined, turning his head back to the side so he could breath. It didn’t stop Slade though, didn’t stop him from guiding his hand back and lining his fingers up. He shook his head a little, sobbing and gritting his teeth as Slade yanked his hair to get him going.

He pushed his middle finger into himself, the excess lube making it slide in easily despite how tight he was. It had him gasping sharply, the feeling sobering him up a bit. He groaned with frustration and tried to pull his hand back but couldn’t seem to be able to. Instead he whimpered and squeezed his eyes closed as he pushed the finger into himself deeper, this time it got a soft moan from him, then a broken but quiet sob. “Slade...please, I don’t like this- It- ah-!” he cried as Slade goaded another finger into him. “Mh!!” 

Slade held tight to Robin’s hand, guiding it to push down Robin’s pants and back, further, to his entrance. He didn’t have to do much to get him to push the first finger in, but had to coax the second finger. His demeanor shifted slightly though, as if picking up on something else, something that turned his hold a little more gentle. “You’re doing great apprentice.” He mumbled, the hand pushing Robin’s head down instead starting to pet through his hair. “You’ve gotten through the hardest part. Breath Robin.” He told him, kissing the back of his neck, “take your time, open yourself up for me.”

Robin panted as Slade praised him, his cheeks going red with it. “Shut up...shut up- nh-” he groaned, then whimpered as Slade started to pet through his hair. Humiliation filled him as he felt himself relax with the gentle attention, a soft sound escaping him with it. “Slade...ple-please…” he whispered but was so lost of energy he couldn’t really fight back. Chasing him through the broken down clock tower, expending all that energy into desperately trying to hit him. He should of taken it slow… He should of stopped to think about what he was doing. He let out a broken little sob as Slade pushed at his hand gently, encouraging him as he talked. “Shut up…” he whimpered, shifting his dirtied face a little as the man kissed the back of his neck.

He listened however, now that Slade was being gentle, he didn’t feel as defiant. He knew if he didn’t listen that the man would push into him and make things all that much more worse… He wasn’t doing this because he wanted to though, he could never want Slade like this. As his second finger pushed in deeper, he was biting back another moan but it forced its way out of his throat anyway. It was starting to feel good… he hated it, he hated _Slade_ . But he couldn’t deny it felt good… he sniffled and squeezed his eyes closed, tears dripping onto the dusty floor as he worked himself open.

Not long after his hips were squirming, shifting and spreading his legs a little as his fingers pushed as deep into himself as he could. Soft little noises were escaping him, aborted moans and soft gasps left him freely as Slade kept petting him through it. 

Slade’s touch became gentler and gentler the more Robin went on until he was softly moaning and rocking under him. His grip tightened on Robin’s hand once more, stopping its movements. “That’s enough apprentice.” He ordered, guiding Robin’s hand out of him and, for one small moment Robin’s hand was let go and the pressure on his back vanished, Slade’s hand in his hair the only thing anchoring him. It didn’t last though and when Slade presses back forward his bare skin pressed against Robin’s lower back and the head of his cock pressed against Robin’s entrance. He only seemed to pause for a moment before he was thrusting in hard and deep in one swift movement, his front pressed against Robin’s back as he held him steady. He moaned deeply once he was fully in but he didn’t linger, didn’t give Robin time to recover, and simply started to move, hard and fast into him.

Dick blinked out of his stupor as Slade grabbed his hand and told him to stop. “Mnh…” he whined quietly but just let his hand drop, the most he did as Slade let go of him was to pull his hands up to either side of himself, grasping uselessly at the ground while Slade kept hold of his head. “Be gentle...please, please be gentle at least… Slade-” he begged quietly, sounding broken as he tried to look back at the man, frowning with it as Slade leaned back over him.

As he felt skin and the head of Slade’s cock push against him, he was squeaking and squeezing his eyes closed. “Slade- Slade wait-” he panicked, then went wide eyed and _screamed_ as Slade thrusted into him all the way. He sobbed loudly, crying freely now as Slade held him for a moment only to start up his rough pace, a loud sob escaping him as his body was moved with it. “It hurts, stop! Stop! Ah!! Slade! Slade slow down, stop! AHh!!” he cried, moving a hand back to push at Slade the best he could while tears continued to run down his face.

It was a weird feeling, being fucked. If he wasn’t such a mess, he’d realize it didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel like...like it was happening, but at the same time he felt pain, felt pleasure, felt everything he _thought_ he was supposed to feel. But if he were in a sane mind, maybe he’d snap from the fear powder simply from realizing how fake it felt. He wasn’t in the right mind though and he kept screaming with it, kept sobbing and whimpering as Slade continued to fuck hard and fast into him. “No, no! No...no, please, please stop!” he cried, little whimpers turning into soft moans. 

Slade didn’t stop and didn’t falter for a second in his pace, almost robotic in just how exact and perfect it was. the moans and noises he was making weren’t quite right either, sounding more like the sounds he made when Robin landed a hit then anything pleasurable. It would have been obvious, if anyone besides Robin was able to hear and see what was happening, that the motions and noises were drawing from the very limited memories that they had to work with from Robin’s mind.

Still, it was enough to fool Robin as the Titan didn’t seem to be breaking free from his hallucination and, after a moment, Slade reached between both of them for Robin’s length and started to stroke him in time with his thrusts.

Robin sobbed through his moans, whimpering quietly as he was rocked with each thrust. It was just how he thought itd feel after watching porn, something he did rarely but he had enough of an idea of how this should work, so he worried about the damage Slade did. It made him whimper and try and grab onto him, tried to get him to slow down but it didn’t seem to matter to the man. “Please...please, Slade- ah- Oh!” he moaned, crying out in pleasure as Slade reached between his legs and started to stroke him. It made him squirm, shift and cry out as he was touched. “Slade- Sl-ah- Oh! Oh fuck, please, please!” he cried but now didn’t know what the begging was _for_ . He whimpered, grabbing onto the ground, digging ripped gloves into it as he continued to rock as Slade kept fucking him. It didn’t take too long for his orgasm to sneak up on him, his back arching with it as he gave a weak cry as he came, Slade’s name babbled into it with nonsense as the pleasure rocked through him. He collapsed soon after, panting heavily as his mind swam.

It was so hard to focus… everything felt so weird… He blinked heavily, looking back at Slade with blurry vision, his breathing heavy as he tried to catch his breath. “...There...there, you did it... now go away...go away” he whispered pitifully, falling onto his side as he breathed. 

Slade went still as Robin came, his image flickering through it until Robin collapsed, though Robin seemed too out of it to notice just how abruptly it had all ended and how quickly Slade had left Robin empty. Still, ‘Slade’ pressed a hand over Robin’s eyes, forcing them closed as he turned him over on the ground. The kiss he pressed then to Robin’s lips was so sweet and chaste compared to everything that had just happened it was hard to imagine the acts coming from the same person. Still, as Slade pulled his hand away his mask was back in place and his uniform looked as if nothing had just happened. “I’ll see you around apprentice. Maybe next time you’ll be a little more prepared.” He purred, standing up and moving back into the shadows where he was quickly swallowed up.

Robin breathed in deep as he was rolled onto his back, a soft whimper leaving him as Slade moved a hand over his eyes. As Slade leaned down and kissed him, the softest little noise left him with it, confusion and emotion washing over him at the gentle act. Once Slade’s hand was leaving his face, he was furrowing his brows as he looked up at him. He felt confused and upset, hurt and humiliated all at once as he looked at the man. With his words, he was sniffing and squeezing his eyes closed as more tears bubbled at the corners of his eyes. He laid there for a long moment, shoulders shaking as he cried but eventually he forced himself up. 

He didn’t hear Slade leave, didn’t hear him at all but that didn’t stop Robin from reaching up and taking off his mask, his movements heavy as he slowly sat up with it. His blue eyes usually so bright were dull, just like his face was covered in all the dirt from being pushed against the floor. He looked tired, eyes red from all his crying. He pulled his glove off and wiped at his face, still sniffling as he caught his breath. He slowly looked down at himself, furrowing his brows at the mess he made close by. He grabbed wipes from his belt and cleaned himself off the best he could, then with pained hesitance he moved his fingers down to his hole, trying to see the damage.

As he felt at himself though, he was raising his brows, then furrowing them as confusion set in. There was...it was only lube, no blood like there should of been with Slade being so rough. Plus he wasn’t hurting...he wasn’t even loose despite having just been… “I...Why dont...I dont get it” he whispered as he pulled his fingers away, frowning and looking around the dark tower. He didn’t really stay to figure it out however, instead cleaned up the best he could before getting dressed and patting himself off. His gloves were ripped from clawing at the ground so much but besides that he was...well he was just sweaty, not really hurt… He didn’t get it. Once the mask was dry again and the adhesion could work, he put it back on before heading out, hugging himself as he went, his mind going a mile a minute as he tried to make logical sense of everything… 

_Things with Trigon were escalating and while Slade had no trouble playing at loyalty, he was not stupid, and so, as he saw Robin flee the Titan’s tower that next day a plan started to form in his head._

_He had one of his minions follow after Robin until he realized exactly where he was going and sent his ‘eyes’ to the old clock tower. He watched Robin enter and try to fight something that wasn’t there, Something that didn’t exist, and eventually lose. The place and position Robin ended up in was very familiar and Slade had a moment to wonder if Robin had always been terrified of Slade doing this to him, before things escalated._

_He watched with apt attention as Robin cried and begged and eventually gave him. As he lubed up his fingers with jerking movements as if they were being controlled, and as they soon entered into him._

_Slade knew, that it he still had flesh, he would be hard then, watching Robin slowly fuck himself on his fingers and slowly start to enjoy it, start to rock back into it. Slade wanted so suddenly to touch, to show Robin exactly how to do this, how to curl his fingers for better pleasure, to replace them with his own._

_And then the fingers were gone and Robin was being ‘fucked’. He could watch as Robin’s body rocked with powerful thrusts that didn’t exist, and he wished he could get close enough to see if Robin’s ass hole was responding too, fluttering around an invisible cock. He didn’t move though, not wanting his minions light to break the hallucination._

_And then it was over and Robin was sitting up and Slade was suddenly getting another show he hadn’t expected. Even with the redness of then, Slade could tell Robin’s eyes were a beautiful blue and he knew he would want, no need, to see them again. Beyond that though, Robin’s eyes looked dead._

_He called back his minion soon after, his plan firmly in place now. He needed a ring, a physical one in the mortal plain, and who better to get it for him then a desperate Robin?_


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath: in which Slade tries to salvage the situation for his own benefit and Robin only proceeds to isolate himself more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please mind the tags!

**Chapter 3**

Robin slowly made his way home, on foot since his bike would of given him away. Once he got home, he was quiet. Through Cyborg's yelling and even through Starfire and Beastboy's incessant questions. He didn't say a single thing. The only one who could tell something was deeply wrong was Raven, so he avoided her the best he could. 

He showered, his mind racing as it tried to put together all the clues, the blaring facts but he couldn't get to a definite answer. He couldnt tell if Slade was real or not and it bothered him. 

He eventually got out of the shower and headed back for his room, the dim hallways setting him on edge so he practically ran to his room, making sure the door didn't lock behind him. 

He breathed in deep as he collapsed on his bed, feeling so exhausted but unable to sleep because of how much anxiety was going through him. He laid there for an hour or so, his mind racing before curiosity got the best of him. He hesitantly sat up and pushed a hand into his pajama pants. He furrowed his brows as he grazed fingers against his hold, then whimpered softly as he pushed at himself. He quickly pulled his hand back, giving a frustrated groan as he laid back. 

"It doesn't make sense…" he whimpered, closing his eyes as he tried to think it through for the billionth time. 

It was late afternoon, the sun filtering in through his window made it difficult to sleep, among other things, but he slowly dozed off, exhaustion setting in from everything he went through. 

———

Trigon was, thankfully, uninterested in Slade’s more personal pursuits and so Slade decided to flex his powers, just a little, and enter Robin’s dreams as soon as he saw him enter a fitful sleep.

Slade ‘awoke’ in the clock tower and had a severe moment of dejavú before pushing through it, The few times he had done this to spy on Raven her mind had been empty space and floating rocks. Robin’s mind was not that. It was dark edges and sharp corners and a blurring of dreams and reality. Slade took a moment to orient himself, to find where he was, and to start walking towards the center of the dream, the area that had the most clarity, hoping to find Robin there.

Robin was indeed at the center, pacing around a spotlight in the ceiling. He was dressed in Slade's old apprentice outfit and looked worse than he did in real life. He had his hands in his hair and he was muttering to himself, jumping at imaginary sounds that didn't seem to leave him alone. It came to a head it seemed when he squatted down, hands in his hair as soft little sobs escaped him. He was small, trying to curl himself up from the imaginary horrors trying to get at him. 

He looked up as he heard another sound, going wide eyed as he saw Slade step out of the shadows. He let out a startled scream, falling back on his ass and moved his hands out in front of him as he scooted back. 

"No, no, No! Please, please leave me alone!" He sobbed, scooching back on the ground before turning and trying to get up to run. "No! No, not again! Leave me alone!" He screamed as he tried to get up. 

Slade wasn’t exactly sure what response he expected from Robin when he saw him, but once he got it he knew it was exactly what he saw: though the apprentice uniform was a nice touch. Still. As much as he wanted to play in this space that Robin had ‘created’ for them he knew he didn’t have to time for it. 

“Calm down Robin I’m not going to touch you.” He called out as he stopped at the edge of Robin’s protective circle. “I’ve simply come to check up on you. You seem to be...haunted lately.” He told him, tilting his head. “Is something the matter?”

Robin panted as Slade spoke up, still on the floor as he looked up at him. He furrowed his brows with his words, whimpering quietly as he talked. He then slowly frowned before glaring and getting up, his mood flipping. "Dont- don't play with me! You know what's the matter! You keep- you keep coming after me! You- you're molesting me, r-raping me and no one even believes me that you're real! How are you getting into the tower? Why- why now??" He yelled desperately. 

Slade watched him silently for a moment, trying best to think about how to approach this situation. He started circling Robin, slowly and carefully as he thought. “I have some of the answers you seek Robin, not all, but most. But you know I can’t just give them to you. You want answers? Then we trade information. It’s as simple as that.” He paused, back in front of Robin “an answer for an answer, is that a deal?”

Robin whimpered as Slade started to circle him, hugging himself as he kept his front to Slade no matter where he went. He frowned with his words, taking in a shaky breath as Slade said he couldn't just give him answers, already fearful of what he'd ask for. As he then said he wanted to trade information, he was furrowing his brows with a soft sound. "J-just answers? That's all you want?" He asked quietly, holding himself tightly as Slade watched him. He was quiet for a moment but slowly nodded, backing up a little bit. "Fine...yes, _just_ answers. You touch me and it's over" he said, voice shaky as he looked at Slade. 

He was like a different person in here, all his walls and defenses were gone, leaving a shaking and scared boy in its place, open to anything the fear toxin wanted him to see.

Seeing Robin brought down so low did little for Slade, he had enjoyed how much the Titan had worked to fight him, how obsessed he had become. It had been entertaining, but he knew that, for what he was about to do, he needed Robin broken and willing to trust him. He could build him back up later.

“I suppose I should go first then. In a show of good faith.” He said, letting out a little thoughtful hum as he sat down across from Robin, deciding that looking too intimidating wouldn’t help get Robin on his side. “Your first question was how I am getting in the tower: I’m not.” He answered. It was a half-truth, after all, Robin wasn’t talking about _him_ getting in. “The ‘Slade’ you have been seeing recently is merely a figment of your own mind.” He paused “well...kind of. My turn to ask a question though. I’m looking for something: a ring. I need to know if you have seen it?” He said, concentrating for a moment and holding out his hand for Robin before opening his fist, revealing a solid silver band with an inscription.

Robin jerked back as Slade sat down after he said he’d go first but slowly he eased into the idea. He didn’t sit however, too on edge to put himself in a position that would make it difficult for him to get up from. His words however had him fidgeting, hands balled into fists as he let out a small, frustrated sound.

“That- That doesn’t make any sense, you’re lying!” he yelled, then whimpered as Slade said it was his turn. He hugged himself tightly, squeezing his eyes closed but gave in and looked over at him, looking confused as he showed him the ring he was looking for. “But you have it right there… why...no, I haven’t seen that before… I’ve been too busy fighting you to look for...for jewelry” he complained as he started to pace again, hands in his hair as he thought.   
  
“Why would my mind make up a Slade? You’re- you’re right here, you’re doing these things to me! You’re lying to me. M-Make it make sense then! There can't be two Slades! There- there shouldn’t be _any_ Slades! You died! You- I’m… I’m dreaming. That's it. I...I got hurt- im in a coma this has all been a nightmare. That's all. That's why...why it didn’t hurt after you- when you...” he rambled, seeming to lose himself trying to connect everything together. 

Slade cursed under his breath as Robin started to lose track of himself and he had to hold back from slapping the boy to get him to pay attention. “Robin focus!” He ordered sharply. “Someone is manipulating you.” He told him, voice harsh, and completely failing to mention that it was technically _him_ manipulating Robin. “They are using your own mind against you, making you lose focus, stressing you out, making you lose sleep. They are trying to _weaken_ you Robin.” He pushed, his voice leaving no room for argument in this. He could feel a shift in the room, additional blurring. Robin’s panic was waking him up and he couldn’t afford that. “I can help you. I can help you _fight_ . I can help you with _sleep_ but I need you to help-“

He was cut off as the world around him blurred too much and he came back to himself with a gasp and a curse. That had not gone his he had hoped. He needed more _time_. He took a deep breath to calm himself. He needed to find a way to keep Robin asleep, even if his body was trying to force him awake. There had to be a way. Slade just had to find it.

———-

Robin jolted and let out a startled noise, like a scared animal as Slade yelled at him. He backed up, looking at the man with a frown as he listened. His body still shook, his hands fidgeting where they held themselves in front of his body. He didn’t like his words, didn’t like what they could mean for him. He didn’t get it, but it… it could make sense. But he was still scared. He could feel the fear overwhelming him now, the idea of someone using his own mind against him. He wanted to ask how, how they were doing this to him but things started to feel odd, the room blurring, Slade the only thing he seemed to be able to focus on as the man said he could _help_ him. Help him fight, to _sleep_ . He needed to help him though- help…

  
“Ah-!” he cried, then cupped his hands over his mouth as he shot straight up in bed, looking around wildly before his walls came in around him, comforting him. The stone cold exterior his dad trained him to have calming him as he took a moment to breath. He was...he had been dreaming… That was all a dream… He laid back against the wall, moving a hand up to rub at the back of his neck as he glanced over at the clock. It… it was only 8pm? A day hadn’t even passed since...since Slade…

  
He swallowed thickly, glancing around his dark room only for him to notice someone leaning back against his wall. He went wide eyed, gasping and pressing himself back against the wall as he saw Slade standing there, watching him. “You- you were just- You’re not real… you’re- you’re in my mind- thats what- he…” he breathed quietly but his words fell short. Dreams were in his mind too. Everything that had been making sense was in his mind, the same thing that was apparently creating _this_ Slade. But it was the only thing he had to go off of.

  
“You’re not real. Go away” he growled, balling his fists up despite the slight tremors going through his body, unable to push down his fear at the whole situation. 

Slade chuckled from where he was leaning against Robin’s bedroom wall, watching him. “Not real?” He asked, pushing off and moving forward “my Robin, I must have made quite an impression if you are trying to convince yourself I’m not real.” He was over at Robin’s side seconds after that, a strong hand clamping down on Robin’s mouth to keep him quiet as he said “would I be able to do this if I wasn’t real? Think about it apprentice, which one of these feels more ‘real’?” He asked, his other hand moving to Robin’s throat and starting to squeeze

Robin grit his teeth as Slade mocked him, his own heart beating a mile a minute as the man moved over to him. He tried to lean back, hand edging towards the side of his bed which had the panic button. “You’re not-MMPH!” He tried only for Slade to be on him without warning. He cried out against his hand with it, his own hands going up to grasp his wrist in a feeble attempt to pull his hand away.

  
He furrowed his brows with his words, whimpering as he tried to kick at him. As Slade’s other hand moved to his throat, he was going wide eyed, breathing in as deeply as he could before his hand had the chance to completely cut off his breathing. “Mmh!!” He tried to yell, tried desperately for the other Titans to hear him. As Slade’s hold got tighter, he was moving one hand back, hitting at the wall in an attempt to hit the panic button, but it seemed to be too far away for him to reach. “Mmhh!! Mh-” he groaned, struggling to get in breath now as Slade kept hold of his throat. He furrowed his brows, looking up at Slade with a weak expression. 

Slade let go of the hold he had over Robin’s mouth and instead grabbed at the hand he was flailing at the wall, holding it in a crushing grasp as his hand tightened on Robin’s neck. “You’re making this so much harder on yourself Robin.” Slade told him, sounding almost gentle, “if you just stopped trying to fight me this would be so much more pleasurable for you.” He purred “you did so well this morning, opening yourself up for me. Letting me take you. Cumming at my touch. There is no reason to fight this. Just give in.”

Robin squeezed his eyes closed, whimpering as Slade held his hand down. He felt his vision blurring a little, a soft sound escaping him as Slade tightened the hold on his neck. With his words, he was squeezing Slade’s wrist, moving his mouth in an attempt to talk but couldn’t get more than a groan past his lips. He tried to kick his feet, tried to push at him with his legs but couldn’t get a purchase because of how weak he felt. He slowly felt his eyes close, his head swimming as Slade held his neck. The grip on his wrist slacked, his other hand limp against the bed as he started to pass out.

Slade’s grip on Robin’s neck loosened as he started to pass out and, if Robin had any mind for it he might have noticed Slade’s figure blurring around the edges as it happened. Still, Robin seemed conscious enough for Slade to move onto the bed with him and press him down against it. “I’m going to fuck you again Robin, and I’m going to keep doing so until you accept that this is exactly what you have been wanting. Craving.” He said, voice seeming to echo through the room “the truth you have been too terrified to admit to yourself.” He leaned over Robin, bringing his masked forehead against Robin’s. “That your obsession with me was never about bringing me down. That it was about _this_ .” He said, the hand that had been around Dick’s neck moving to cup him through his pants. “That It’s _always_ been about this.”

Robin breathed in so hard and fast once Slade let go that it was nearly crippling. He whimpered as his head went dizzy, even feeling a little sick with it. He was plyable under Slade, simply having to focus on his breathing and trying to get conscious enough again to deal with him. He let the man talk, let him explain what all of this was for. As a hand was moved down to cup him through his pants, he was finally reacting with a soft noise, his brows furrowing together as he squirmed under him. He tried to pull his hand free from Slade’s grasp, then frowned up at him, glaring a little. He slammed his forehead forward into Slade’s as he spoke up, needing the space. “You never fucked me to begin with… There wasn’t any blood- I’m still… You’re fake. You’re fake. The other Slade was right. You’re someone _messing_ with me. Get off of me! None of this means _anything_ ” he growled as he squeezed his legs together tightly, trying to get his hand to let go.   
“Who are you?? How are you in my head? Why Slade? Let go of me already! Nothing you do to me is real!” he cried desperately, trying to be loud in hopes one of the other titans might hear him. 

Slade’s head moved back, dodging the headbutt easily as Robin ranted. At the mention of another Slade though he seemed to pause, tilting his head in consideration before letting out a deep laugh. “Dreaming of me were you Robin?” He teased, ignoring his accusations, “is that how your mind is choosing to deal with the trauma of all of this? Creating false memories, false sensations, to pretend it never happened. You’re in denial Robin.” He stated, looking down at him with a harsh eye, “unable to accept the truth. We both know I fucked you. You’re mind is just refusing to process it. Refusing to acknowledge it. But you _can_ feel it now can’t you Robin?” He asked, and, as if Slade’s words were a trigger the pain from before came back “you can feel how sore you are from the ‘fun’ we had this morning. Maybe now you’ll be able to see the blood.”

Robin furrowed his brows as Slade made fun of him for dreaming about him, pointing out this was just a way to cover up his trauma. He grit his teeth, then groaned and turned his head away as he couldn’t keep looking up at him, not with that hard eye staring so intently at him.

“No...no, no it’s not real. You’re not real…” he mumbled, squeezing his eyes closed as Slade then told him it was, that he really _did_ fuck him. As pain shot through him, he was crying out sharply, his back arching against it. “Ahh! No-no, stop!” he sobbed, squirming under him and shot out a hand to try and push at his chest. “It hurts, stop!” he screamed, the searing pain running up his spine due to the pressure he was putting on his ass.

  
“Help me!!! Titans, please! Get off!” he cried, struggling under Slade as panic set in. He didn’t understand why he felt it now, why he didn’t feel it earlier. **_Was_ **he real?? He needed the titans, he needed their help. He hoped to everything they could hear him.

Beastboy was the first to barge into the room, his hearing better than the rest, but his yelling of “ROBIN’S IN TROUBLE” certainly alerted everyone else in the hall and also alerted _Slade_ who moved off of Robin right as the door burst open and BeastBoy ran in, yelling “GET AWAY FROM ROBIN YOU BASTARD!” Only to skid to a halt halfway into Robin’s room and look around in confusion. “Don’t worry dude I’ve got this!” He promised, quickly turning into a bloodhound and starting to sniff around just as the others came in, Cyborg's arm cannon glowing brightly in the room illuminating every corner.

Robin gasped as the door slid open, eyes wide as he looked over at the door as Beastboy ran in. He was suddenly able to sit up, breathing hard as he saw Slade back against the wall. He furrowed his brows as Beastboy stopped and he quickly gestured out “He’s right there! He’s-” He looked back and went wide eyed as suddenly Slade was gone. He looked over at Cyborg, breathing heavily as the girls came in too. He furrowed his brows, gritting his teeth as he slammed his fist down. “Dammit Beastboy he was right there! I-I don’t know where he went but you had to have seen him! Slade was _right there_ ” He yelled, breathing hard as the others looked at him with frowns.

  
“Jeez dude, no I didn’t see him what are you- Ah-ah choo!” Beastboy frowned only to sneeze and turn into a ferret, then sneezed and turned into a bird. “Aahhh oh man- ow-ah-Ah Choo!” he continued.   
Dick furrowed his brows, looking around, then looked back at Cyborg who looked particularly upset at him for yelling at Beastboy.

“Cyborg- I swear! He was just here. He must of put something down- B-beast boy is sneezing! He put something down so he couldn't be tracked! He’s been after me! You have to believe me!” he yelled desperately which just had Cyborg rolling his eyes and gripping beastboy from his scruff while the kid kept sneezing. “Yeah, sure. I’ll run some tests on your room, try and find your imaginary villain” he scoffed dismissively.

  
“He’s not- He’s not imaginary!! Damnit Cyborg! Why don’t any of you believe me??” he screamed which had Starfire gasping and backing up towards the door. 

“That’s it.” Raven said, floating into the room, her eyes glowing slightly, “all of you need to leave. Robin, _we_ need to talk.” she insisted and, before anyone could complain she was creating a hand that shoved everyone out the door and let it slide closed. She lowered herself down to the floor after that and started to walk towards the bed, looking determined.

“Robin, Slade is _dead_ we all saw it. We saw Terra kill him.” She started, “But...I want to believe you.” She pressed on, seeming to become a little less intense, “I’ve been noticing something lately in the tower, things that i’ve been trying to monitor but haven’t been able to get any confirmation on. I think...I think the two things might be related. I need to look into your mind Robin. I need to see.”

Robin went wide eyed, then glared as Raven moved into the room, saying how they needed to talk. He wanted to complain, tell her no but she was already pushing everyone out of the room. “Hey-!” He yelled, then leaned back away from her as she walked towards him with a determined look. He furrowed his brows, frowning as he leaned away from her and back against the wall. As she spoke however, he was growling and leaning forward, “No he isn’t! He’s been- He’s found a way into the tower, he’s targeting me!” he yelled, then hesitated as she went on to explain that she’s been seeing something.

“So you’ve-- What?? No way!” he seemed relaxed when he heard that she’d seen something, but the second she asked to see into his mind he was reeling back. “N-no, I- You can’t. You really can’t. I want to help, but I can’t let you in there” he gasped. “There’s- I can’t, Raven, don’t make me” he panicked. 

Raven hesitated at how panicked Robin became once she asked to enter his mind. She hesitated, unsure for a moment before pushing the subject. “Robin I want to help you. I want to help us both but I can’t if you close yourself off from me.” She told him “I can’t help without your permission, and I won’t go into your mind without it. I _can’t_ but if there is something targeting you it’s the fastest way I can figure this out.”

Dick shook his head, putting his face in his hands as he tried to keep himself calm. He groaned, throwing his hands down. “It’s _something_ it’s _someone_ ! He’s not dead! I-Raven, I _can’t_ let you in my mind. You’ll- you’ll see things I can’t let you see. Why can’t you just trust me?? We need to go after Slade! He- He’s...what about a compromise? He’s looking- f-for a ring. It’s a ring with writing on it. It’s plain and silver but its got deep etching on it. He- he says he can help me and- I- It’s confusing, okay? All I know is, if I get that ring, he’ll stop tormenting me” he practically begged, leaning forward on the bed a little. 

Raven hesitated at that, her eyes darting back and forth around Robin’s face. “A ring?” She asked. She had a lot of those, with a lot of different properties but if Slade was after one….she brought up an inscription in the air, floating between them. “Was this the etching on it?” She asked, just a hint of worry entering her voice. It was a symbol that would allow the wearer to cross planes of existence, and the fact that Slade was somehow contacting Robin to try and get to it was troubling.

Robin hesitated, nodding a little as Raven pondered. As the inscription filled the air, he was frowning and looking it over. “I...I don’t know… I was trying to keep my distance from him… All I saw was a silver ring that had writing on it… I wasn’t close enough to see what the writing looked like…” he said, voice getting dejected.

“He asked if I had seen it and then… nevermind...it’s a stupid hunch… I don't even know if it actually happened” he whispered, pulling his knees up to his chest. “I don’t know what's real anymore… no thanks to _you_ guys” he huffed. 

“Robin-“ Raven started before hesitating and taking a deep breath. “I think this all has to do with me. With my...my destiny.” She said softly after a moment. “I told you guys before why...why I was created. Why I was _made_ and...I can _feel_ it Robin. Trigon I...I can feel his power growing and now with you ‘seeing’ Slade again…” Raven let the image fall. “That ring has the power to let people cross plains. Someone like Trigon wouldn’t be able to use it but...but if somehow Trigon got his hands on Slade then he might be controlling him. Trying to get him into this world again to get to me though _you_.” She gave Robin a moment to process that, “I can’t give you that ring Robin. I’m sorry.”

Robin furrowed his brows as he listened to Raven, not at all liking what she was saying but… he guessed it could make sense? He fidgeted, hands in his lap as he listened. He wanted to cross plains? But...he was _here._ He was breaking into the tower and hurting him and… and he wasn’t hurting… He shifted, letting out a soft breath as he realized the pain he had been in before wasn’t there… He looked back at Raven, furrowing his brows as she said Slade might be controlled only for Raven to...to… “What?? What do you mean you can’t give me the ring? It could be the only thing stopping Slade from hu- from...tormenting me! We’ve fought Slade before and won! It doesn’t matter if he has a ring or not, I _need_ it to make him stop! Raven you’ve seen what this is doing to me, _please_ ” he said desperately, waving a hand. “You can’t _do_ this to me, Raven” he added with a growl. 

Raven almost looked sorry until Robin turned to anger and her own expression turned hard. “You’re not thinking clearly Robin. Whatever Slade is doing to you, it’s putting a strain on your mind. Think about it: if Slade is being controlled by Trigon and Trigon is trying to get him _out_ then he probably gave him powers to go with it. Stuff that _we_ don’t know about yet.” She shook her head and stepped forward again, reaching her hand out, “I don’t know why you two are connected or how but if you let me into your mind I can sever the link. I can get him _out_ of you Robin _without_ having to let him escape from whatever hell he is currently trapped in. There are better options then giving him exactly what he wants.”

Robin grit his teeth, glaring at her now as she tried to explain things again. As she stepped forward, he leaned back away from her, clenching his hands. He looked away as she said she didn’t know why or how they were connected and squeezed his eyes closed, anger bubbling up on him as she talked. “Weren't you listening!?” he yelled, slapping her hand away from him as he got up off his bed, throwing his hand out to the side.  
“I **_can’t_ ** let you in my head!! Just how you have your secrets, I have mine!! You’re keeping me from the only thing that will actually help! You- You’re fine with letting me suffer with this!! If that’s the case then I don’t _need_ you! I don’t need any of you! All of you think I’m making shit up anyway! It’s not fair!” he yelled.   
He then grit his teeth and pointed at Raven, glaring. “Don’t you fucking get in my way, Raven. I’ll go _through_ you if I have to” he threatened as he turned around for the door. 

Raven didn’t try to stop him, her own anger only just being kept in check and so she easily stepped out of the way and watched Robin open his door only for all the other Titans to fall through as soon as it did. Beastboy was on the bottom but he was the first one up, transforming into a snake to get out and glaring at Robin in anger and shock “Dude! Did you just THREATEN Raven?!” He asked, shaking his arms at his sides “what is _wrong_ with you?!”

“I must agree with friend Beastboy.” Starfire said, floating up, hands clutched to her chest as she looked genuinely worried “Robin you are unwell. You are, as Raven said, ‘not thinking clearly’”

“Naw Star,” Cyborg said, standing up himself and turning an angry, cold look on Robin “he’s thinking exactly how he always has when it came to Slade: selfishly.”

Robin gasped as the rest of the team fell in from leaning so heavily on the door. He stumbled back away from them, furrowing his brows as Beastboy transformed up near him. His words had him taking a step back, glancing back at Raven wildly, then looked at Starfire as she piped in too. It hurt, it really did. He knew he wasn’t going about this the right way but what could he do when none of them were listening to him?? “No- no I-” he tried to defend but as Cyborg spoke up, he was going wide eyed and taking in a shaking breath of disbelief. His words hurt the most, the truth to them stung, made his mind swim with all the times he acted despite the team’s best interest. Despite the reality to it, anger instead took forefront in his mind and he growled, baring his teeth and throwing his hands to the side. “You don’t GET it!! None of you do!” He yelled, his blood boiling with anger.

  
He wanted to tell them what was happening, to see the look of shock and then self-fulfilled remorse for the way they were treating him. He wanted to see the looks on their faces when he told them _exactly_ what Slade was doing to him. But he held it in, simply for the pure chance this was his own creation, for fear that he really _was_ the one who wanted to be fucked by Slade. So instead he continued on his angry rant.

  
“None of you put the same effort into stopping him! It’s like you don't care! Well I do and if you’re going to stand in my way, I’ll go through all of you! I’ll stop him with or without your help and you’ve all made it extremely clear you don’t care what he’s doing to me! Now get out of my way!” he yelled, pushing past them as he went to the garage, grabbing anything he could carry to help him. Weapons, anything of his own design, only things he could _trust_.

He grabbed his motorcycle and peeled out of the tower, speeding down every road to get as far away from the titans as he could. He didn’t know where he was going but along the way he ripped the tracker out of his bike, dumping it in the trashcan near their old pizza join before racing off again. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Robin get comfort from an unexpected source

He didn’t know where he was going, didn’t care but eventually he found himself at the clock tower. The realization of it had his chest hurting, had his mind aching with what it could mean. _‘No, what frightens you is knowing that my continued existence brings you comfort’._ The words stung him as he walked in after hiding his bike the best he could. His heart thumped a mile a minute as he looked around, immediately going for the main room of the building. The ‘throne’ hurt to look at, remembering all the times he reported to Slade while he sat in that same chair… He moved over, dropping his backpack on the way before collapsing on the steps leading up to the chair. He sat with his elbows on his knees, face in his hands as he tried to breath.   
  
What was he doing… he was alienating his friends all because of what Slade was doing to him… he should of told them… he couldn’t though, he couldn’t tell them because if Slade was right… this was only happening because he was _scared_ that this was what he wanted from him. If he was right… that meant he wanted Slade, found comfort in him, was jealous Terra got what he had secretly been wanting… He sniffed as tears started to form, his shoulders shaking as he curled in on himself. 

“Did you come to me for comfort?” A voice called out from the darkness, the sound of boots echoing through the room, moving closer to where Robin was curled up under the large ‘throne’. “I would say I’m surprised but I’m really not.” The voice went on, closer now. “I always did bring you comfort, weather it was the mystery I provided, or the reliability of my presence.” The voice stopped next to Robin and, after a moment Slade moved to sit down next to him on the steps. “Hello apprentice. Having a rough night?”

Robin only tensed up rather than his usual volatile reaction when Slade showed up. He breathed in deep as he was forced to listen to him, crossing his arms over his knees and hiding his face against them instead as the voice got closer and closer. He squeezed his eyes closed as he felt Slade sit down next to him, but the fact he wasn’t immediately touching him made him hesitate. With his words, he was breathing in deep and nodding a little. “I’ve alienated my friends because of you...are you happy?” he asked quietly, but there was no real emotion to it. He didn’t move away from Slade, instead just stayed put where he was. There was no real point to it… Slade would have his way no matter what he did, wouldn’t he? 

“Yes.” Slade replied easily enough, finally reaching out to touch Robin, running his fingers through his hair gently. Easily picking up on Robin’s fear that he truly had come here to get comfort from Slade. “If only because it allows me easier access to you.” He confirmed, not moving to do more than pet through Robin’s hair. “Besides, It’s hardly your fault they aren’t listening to you is it? Though they never truly did listen to you when it came to me did they? No. They didn’t trust you with me. Perhaps they saw what you’ve been trying to ignore this whole time. Just how much you _want_ me.”

Robin took in a sharp gasp as Slade moved a hand into his hair, bracing himself for it to be yanked, but as the man only pet through it, he was slowly relaxing and even leaning into his hand a tiny bit. His words hurt, the idea that he gave him easier access to him scared him but he couldn’t deny it was true. He wasn’t going to be able to go back to the tower… not until he was ready to steal the ring… He listened to Slade as he talked, nodding a little as he made a point they never really did listen to him when it came to Slade. He curled in a little though as Slade said maybe they saw what he was trying to deny. Cyborgs words came back to him, how cruel they were, how _spot on_ they were… He sniffed and struggled to fight back a sob, his shoulders shaking with the effort.   
  
He leaned into his hand, desperate for the comfort he was so afraid of. When that wasn’t enough, he was uncurling and moving over to Slade, pressing his face into his side as he curled up against him instead. The sob broke free and when that happened, he couldn’t stop himself from his crying. He pressed into Slade the best he could, sobbing quietly as his mind raced. 

Slade didn’t push Robin away as he moved over and pressed against his side, instead he shifted to lay out sightly next to him, giving him more area to press against, and moved to rub his back as Robin sobbed, giving him the exact comfort that he feared yet needed so much. He simply let it happen, let Robin completely break down in his arms, not saying a word until the sobs turned to little whimpers and hiccups. “Your room may still be decently intact Robin.” He told him softly, “at the very least the bed is likely still there. We should move there before you fall asleep at the foot of my chair.” He told him before pulling him a little closer. “I won’t leave you alone. Not like your friends. Not now.”

Robin shivered as he was pulled close, a soft sound escaping him as Slade rubbed at his back gently. He cried it out until his head hurt, until he couldn’t see with the mask clogged up with tears, already detached from the bottom half of his face from where he’d been sobbing so much. Once he was calm enough, he was trying to get his breathing even, slowly relaxing down against Slade. Slade’s soft voice helped, listening to him talk, listening to him offer up his old room so he’d have somewhere comfortable to sleep. He nodded a little, closing his eyes again as Slade pulled him close. With his words, he was sniffing harder and struggling not to cry again at the thought of his friends leaving him alone. He nodded again, swallowing hard and slowly moving to push himself up. He looked at him, not sure what to even think anymore…   
  
All he knew was that this was nice...just crying and being held. The last time that happened he was twelve in his father’s arms… listening to the bat help calm him down. He got up as best he could, then took Slade’s help as the man got up too and offered his hand out. They both made their way back to his own room, having to work over rubble but they eventually got there.   
He wiped at his face and tried to press his mask back on but it still needed time to dry, so he left it where it was, half on his face. He frowned at the state of his room but moved over for the bed anyway, slowly beating the dust off the bed, trying to make it worth laying down on. Once he did, he sat down and looked up at Slade, a small, vulnerable look on his face as if he wasn’t sure about it anymore. 

Slade stopped at the doorway to Robin’s old room and simply watched him clean off the bed and get it into some working order to sleep in before sitting and finally looking at him. Slade studied Robin for a long moment, each of Robin’s own fears dictating what was about to happen next, but as Slade finally took a step forward he flickered out of existence as Robin collapsed on the bed.

——

_Slade had missed the fall out at Titans tower and had even missed Robin storming out and returning to the clock tower, he was too intent of finding some way to put Robin to sleep and keeping him that way until he decided to let Robin wake up. His very existence depended upon it._

_And so once he had found what he needed he implemented the spell without even thinking about where or what Robin had been upto until he was staring down at the vulnerable figure at his feet._

“Robin. I hope your body isn’t anywhere too treacherous.” He said, bent over slightly to catch Robin’s eye. “I would hate for you to die before we could finish our conversation.”

Robin furrowed his brows as he saw Slade flicker out only for him to reappear in a darker space, one made of pure ambiance and emptiness. He looked up at Slade, breathing heavy as he looked around with confusion. “What just- why-” he stuttered, then furrowed his brows as Slade talked about his body, talked about him dying. He scooched back with a frown, glancing Slade over with a small whimper. “Wh-what do you mean? Which one are you? I was just- I was just in the clock tower- what’s going on?” he panicked, pulling himself further away from Slade. 

“The clock tower?” Slade asked, sounding genuinely surprised. “I thought you had been at the tower during our last conversation.” He murmured more to himself then Robin. “Not that it matters beyond being strange...do you go there often?” He wondered, looking Robin over as if he had somehow turned himself into a very complex puzzle. “Were you there looking for me?”

Robin furrowed his brows as Slade seemed to question him being at the clock tower. So...okay, this was dream Slade? Right… He leaned forward a little, pulling a knee to his chest as he looked up at Slade, hugging it instead since he apparently wasn’t going to get comfort from this Slade. Not that he wanted it… right? He let out a shaky breath, glancing away with shame as Slade asked if he went to the clock tower often. “N-no I…” he tried, then furrowed his brows as the man looked him over. He swallowed at his question, face hot with shame as he slowly nodded. “I...I found you...at least...whatever looks like you… or… I found Slade and _you_ look like him...I-I don’t know…” He whined, still clearly confused.

  
“I can’t go back to the tower… I asked Raven about that ring you had...she… she wouldn’t give it to me even though I told her it would stop you from hurting me-” he growled, anger bubbling up again as he clenched his fists. “I-I threatened them… I said I was going to go through them if they tried to stop me… I- I-” he gasped, squeezing his eyes closed as he started to panic. “They won’t listen to me about you. They think I’m making it up. They don’t believe me… and I can’t tell them what you’re doing to me! I-I can’t-it’s- Slade, please...please, I can break in, get the ring. I don’t care if it lets you cross plains. I don’t care about Trigon, please, I can’t take anymore of this” he rambled, looking up at him desperately. 

He couldn’t tell what realm he was in anymore, real life or sleeping but he guessed it didn’t matter. He felt weak here though, looking up at Slade, it felt like all his walls were shattered, making him expose all his weakness to the man. He hated it but he couldn’t stop himself. He sort of wanted the other one… the one who was comforting him before. It felt so nice to be held...He wanted to go back to that one… He curled up a little, trying to get himself to breath, hating himself for even thinking of wanting Slade, which ever one it was. He shouldn’t want to be held...not by him...but he was the only one who was willing to, the only one who was listening even if he was the one inflicting the abuse. He let out a shaky sob, leaning over himself as his shoulders shook, trying to keep the emotion inside. 

Slade realized pretty quickly that he had missed a lot as Robin broke down in front of him. Whatever confrontation Robin had just had with his friends had seemed to have truly and completely broken him. Still, he focused in on the mention of the Ring, that Robin had found it, was willing to steal it, only to pause as he mentioned what the ring did. Slade cursed under his breath, that wasn’t the one, and knelt down next to Robin, trying to get him to look at him but Slade could already tell that his mental state was too far gone to focus. The boy needed sleep, but at least the fear toxin didn’t seem to be hurting anything but Robin’s mind. _That_ wouldn’t kill him. “Robin you’re having a panic attack.” Slade said as he moved to try and get Robin to lay out, a bed forming under him as he did so. Slade frowned. It was definitely the one from Robin’s old room at the clock tower. Slade wondered if that was where Robin was now. “I’ve found a way to let you sleep, to keep the other me from waking you. I need you functional and in top mental shape if you are going to be any use to me. Lay down and breath.” Slade instructed, guiding Robin to do just that.

Robin was starting to hyperventilate, leaning and curling into himself more as he hugged his head, soft whimpers escaping him. He gasped as he was touched and made to lay down, but it still didn’t help. “I can't take this, please, no more, no more” he sobbed. He shook his head as Slade talked, whining a little as Slade tried to get him to lay down properly and breath. “I can’t sleep, I can’t, he finds me, I can’t sleep” he sobbed, hand grabbing at Slade’s wrist, unsure if he wanted to push or pull him in. “Please...please, no more” he sobbed quietly. 

Slade wasn’t sure how to get Robin to calm down and focus so he did the first think that came to mind and slapped him across the face. “Robin, focus!” He ordered harshly, giving him a hard look. “The thing attacking you feeds on fear. You need to calm down, focus, and breath.” He instructed, hoping that giving Robin a goal, something to focus on that he could physically do to counter the fear toxin, would give him some kind of ‘hope’ that wouldn’t just leave him in this blind panic “I _know_ you know how to meditate Robin! Focus!”

Robin gasped and let out a soft cry as he was slapped. The shock of it had him looking up at Slade with wide eyes, a soft noise escaping him but it seemed to work long enough for Slade to get his words into him. “F-fear?” he asked quietly, then furrowed his brows and looked down at the bed, then back up at Slade. “I...I- okay...okay...m-meditation” he breathed, hesitantly letting go of Slade and instead laid back down, moving an arm over his face as he breathed, slowly and evenly as he got himself to slowly calm down.   
So...whatever it was fed on fear… it fed on _his_ fears… He was scared of Slade, scared of...of wanting sex with him, wanting to be his apprentice, scared of finding _comfort_ in the man. It had him sniffling and letting out a soft sob, but it was more relaxed this time, a more controlled cry. That slowly stopped too however, his body slowly relaxing as he breathed.

  
It didn’t take too long for him to finally stop, reaching up and wiping at his face, the mask shifting with it but he didn’t move to take it off. Instead he shot a hesitant glance over at Slade.   
  
“...If that isn’t Slade...then that means you are? You’re the _real_ Slade…?” he asked quiet and broken. 

Slade was relieved when slapping Robin seemed to actually work and he slowly started to relax. He gave Robin this time, even though he knew his own was limited, knowing he had no choice. Finally Robin looked over at him and acknowledged him and Slade let out a relieved sigh.

“Honestly Robin, I’m touched that you think me so resilient that I could survive falling in lava but I’m really not.” He said, his voice just a hint teasing before he turned a little more serious, “though the fact that you think I’m someone capable of _rape_ is far more unsettling. Really Robin, I’m capable of many things, but do you _really_ think so lowly of me?” He huffed, moving back towards the bed now that he didn’t feel the need to give Robin so much space. Not that there was much space to give him given that Robin’s current ‘dream’ consisted of a bed, a round area of eliminated floor, and darkness. “In other words: I’m real. Dead, but real.”

Robin furrowed his brows and looked away, face turning red with his words. He slowly sat up, then winced and squeezed his eyes closed as Slade so bluntly brought up the rape. He grit his teeth, glaring over at him. “You just said it feeds on fear! It’s not supposed to be sensible. None of this _means_ anything!” he yelled, balling up his fists as shame filled him. He breathed in deep, pulling his knees up to his chest and hid his face against them as Slade came over. He let out a shaky breath and nodded.

“...Alright, you’re dead...but you’re talking to me in...in...where are we? We’re in the clock tower but it feels different…” he mumbled, hugging his legs as he weakly looked back at Slade. 

“You’re asleep.” Slade explained, ignoring Robin’s outburst in favor of getting to the point. “More precisely I put you to sleep since we got so rudely interrupted last time.” He waved his hand, taking a seat on the bed in front of Robin, a move that looked far to casual and spoke a lot (for those who knew how to read it) about the stress he was currently under. “It took me a while to figure out how so I apologize for missing the obviously very important discussion with your team but we need to cut to the chase. I don’t have much time to spend with you before _unwanted_ eyes start to notice. How much has Raven told you about her father?” He asked.

Robin let out a slow breath at that, relaxing as things started to make more sense in his head now. He glanced away as Slade sat down so casually next to him. He would of caught how unusual it was if his view of him hadn’t gotten so tainted from the fear toxin. He swallowed thickly, closing his eyes as he listened to him speak. He glanced around with slight paranoia as Slade mentioned unwanted eyes, then shrugged a little as he fidgeted on the bed.

  
“Just...sort of the basic idea of him… He’s a demon or something...and on her 18th birthday he’s going to bring about the end of the world? We’ve been trying to prepare for it but its hard when you don’t know what your enemy is capable of… Raven says you’re working for him” he said, glancing back at Slade. “That’s why she wouldn’t give me the ring…” he added. 

Slade nodded at that, confirming everything that Robin had said. “He’s certainly powerful enough to resurrect the dead.” Slade said, indicating to himself “but he’s keeping _pieces_ of me to ensure I _play nice_ and I’m not too keen on trusting him to give them back when all of this is done.” Slade explained, “which is where _you_ and this ring come in.” He said, holding out his hand again and showing him the band. “This is the ring of Azarath. A ring of protection from Trigon’s powers. I don’t know what ring your teammate showed you, but it was the wrong one. _This_ is the one I need. And _you_ are going to get it for me.” He explained, holding out the fake ring for Robin to take.

Robin looked at Slade weakly, listening to him talk and nodded a little as Slade explained his reasoning for doing all of this. It sounded gross but he guessed he’d try to do the same… He looked back up at Slade as he went on to explain what he needed to do and frowned a little, hesitantly taking the ring from him. “How am I supposed to get this now that my team thinks I’m completely insane? I’ll need to break in and we all know the system just as well as anyone else on the team… I don’t know where she’s even keeping it…” he mumbled as he looked the ring over, trying to do his best to memorize what the ring looked like. 

“Th-this...this thing that feeds on my fear, where did it come from? How do I get rid of it? I’m worried it’ll get in the way if I go after the ring…” he mumbled.

Slade wasn’t about to admit that he had infected Robin with the fear toxin or that it was something he could simply flush out of his system, and would if he survived long enough for it to wear off. He needed Robin to need him and right now curing his ‘fear’ was all he had.

“It came from Trigon, though I can’t tell you why. Perhaps he is trying to break your team apart one member at a time, starting with their leader.” He explained, “it’s attached to you now, but there are a few temporary fixes that you can implement, though they won’t make you breaking into the tower any easier.” Slade went on, “it cannot enter into a lighted area, so as long as you shine a light on it you should be safe. Beyond that, I know how to get rid of it, permanently. But I _need_ that ring Robin. You get me that and I get rid out your hitchhiker.” Slade prompted. 

Robin furrowed his brows as Slade said Trigon had infected him with it and fidgeted a little, looking down at himself like he might see whatever it was. He didn’t think it made sense, but as Slade talked, his warped mind decided to accept the explanation. He swallowed thickly as Slade said there were temporary fixes and slowly uncurled himself. As he learned that it couldn’t enter lighted areas, he was raising his brows in surprise, then furrowed them. He should of realized that earlier… He glanced away as Slade held back how to get rid of it and nodded again. “I-I’ll try… but what happens if the titans stop me? We have protocols for this sort of thing… Slade, I’m scared” he mumbled, showing more emotion directly to Slade than he ever had before. The world around them shifted, became more sharp, more closed in as he clenched his hands. “What if I can’t do this?” he mumbled

Slade seemed to deflate a little at the raw show of emotion from Robin, different from the mental breakdown from before and it made his own voice turn soft “then the end of the world will come and we’ll all be powerless to stop it.” Slade said, sounding tired. He reached out then, hesitantly, before placing a hand on Robin’s shoulder. “I can’t help you in the living world. I’m limited to what I can influence but I know you. I know your engenuity. If you would develop RedX and trick your team into believing it was someone else, then you can figure out some way to keep them out of the tower long enough for you to get in.” Slade hesitated for a moment before adding “or you could just go back as you are. Your goodie-two-shoes group would probably accept an apology without too much hassle.” He finally said. He didn’t _need_ Robin to play the bad guy here. He just needed that ring, no matter how Robin got it.

Robin furrowed his brows as Slade said without the ring they truly would be powerless. As Slade reached out, he squeezed his eyes closed, as if braced to be hit. As Slade simply put a hand on his shoulder he slowly calmed and looked back up at him. He chuckled a little bit as Slade brought up RedX and nodded with a slow sigh. “Right...yeah” he mumbled. He then hesitated at Slade’s addition before snorting and nodding again. “I hope so… I know Raven will really be guarding her stuff…” he mumbled, then glanced at the hand Slade had on his shoulder, nightmare Slade’s words coming back to hit him. He wanted comfort in the man… He was _scared_ he wanted comfort from him. He let out a shaky breath, then hesitantly looked back up at Slade. “...You knew what it did to me… you’ve been watching me, haven’t you?” he asked quietly, almost shyly.

Slade went quiet and still at that question, his hand tending for a moment of Robin’s shoulder before pulling away, as if realizing that he might have stepped too far. “I’ve been instructed to monitor the tower, specifically Raven, but you can’t blame my curiosity when I realized that the being attacking you had taken on my vistage.” He murmured softly. “I hadn’t realized what was going on at first. I can’t actually see it since it’s in _your_ mind. I can only see and hear you. How you responded to it. It...became pretty evident exactly what was happening though after the second ‘attack’” he confirmed. “Does it bother you that I know?”

Robin furrowed his brows and closed his eyes as Slade took his hand away, probably in disgust at the new topic. He hoped it was disgust...at least that way the man would never actually come onto him. An odd feeling filled him at the thought but he ignored it in favor of listening to Slade. His face slowly grew hot, his brows knit closely together as he curled in a little, clearly embarrassed as he realized Slade had seen him finger himself. He nodded a little with his question, shifting on the bed. “You’re not supposed to know my fears… You’ll figure out some way to use them against me. You’re supposed to be my _enemy_ ” he mumbled, but the last sentence lingered, like it meant something much deeper to Robin.   
  
“I can’t tell what...what part is fear and what parts are something else… I-It’s so turned in on itself I don’t know how to begin unpacking what its doing to me… Batman taught me how to overcome fears but this is...it’s a different creature. And I hate that you’re able to see me struggle through it, e-especially since _you’re_ what I’m apparently afraid of!” he complained, putting his face in his hands as he reminded himself to breath. “It’s not fair” 

Slade couldn’t help the small chuckle that left him, though there was a bit of a bitter edge to it that made it obvious he wasn’t laughing at Robin but rather at the situation. “No. It’s not. But it’s the end of the world Robin and we can’t _afford_ to be enemies. At least I can’t afford to have _you_ as _mine.”_ He told him, exposing a little bit of vulnerability to try and make sure Robin didn’t second guess him. “You’re the only link I have to the living world right now, and the only link I have to that ring. I’m not going to simply let myself die because we have a few moral differences.” He insisted. He hesitated then, thinking of the first half of Robin’s confession and frowning “I just told you it feeds on fear, and, for some reason, you seem to be terrified of me wanting to rape you.” He tilted his head, eye narrowing slightly in thought “what else would it be but fear?” 

Robin furrowed his brows as Slade chuckled, though was able to notice the tone. He breathed in deep and listened to Slade, glancing back at him as he said he didn’t want him to be an enemy while they were dealing with the ‘end of the world’ mess. A warm feeling blossomed in his chest at the idea and quickly looked down again, swallowing thickly. He chuckled a little and nodded, though the sound was a little empty. “Right…no sense in it” he agreed. He then breathed in deep and slowly let it out only to glance back at Slade with a small frown as he brought up what the fear creature had done.

He fidgeted and glanced away, then shrugged a little. “I-It does...other things… I-I don’t know” he breathed, pressing his lips together, then shook his head a little. “N-nevermind. It doesn’t matter. It’s just nonsense fear” he mumbled, glancing up at him again, then away. 

Robin’s words did nothing to curb his curiosity. Now wanting to know exactly what the fear toxin was doing to him. His eye roamed over Robin’s body, as if it held the answers, before finally moving back up to his face. “Have you memorized the ring yet?” He finally asked, changing the subject. “I can’t stay here forever Robin and i fear my time is running short.” He prompted, reaching out his hand.

Robin fidgeted as Slade seemed to stare at him, his cheeks hot as he waited, then relaxed as Slade brought the subject back to the matter at hand. He nodded at Slade’s words, furrowing his brows a little as he felt his chest hurt a little. He didn’t really want him to go… He wanted the company… He nodded and opened his hand, the ring still there. He turned it over a couple more times, doing his best to keep its image fresh in his mind before he slowly moved it back over to Slade’s hand, his own lingering slightly as they touched. “...yeah...yeah, I have it memorized… guess I just have to figure out how I’ll get it now…” he mumbled as he slowly took his hand away. 

“...I really hope you’re telling the truth, Slade…” he mumbled, looking back up at him. 

Slade hadn’t expected Robin to touch him and he certainly hadn’t expected him to linger. It left his mind whirling with thoughts that he really didn’t have time for. “I am. On my own life, literally, I am.” Slade promised, the ring vanishing in a puff of flame and, in its place was a coin with a glowing symbol on it. “Here. When you fall asleep bring this coin into your dream and touch it while calling out to me. I’ll show up as long as Trigon doesn’t have me out on an errand. And remember: the entity can’t get you with your lights on so keep one on at night.” He nodded, handing the coin over. “Try and sleep as long as you can. Good night Robin.” He murmured, placing a hand back on his shoulder and squeezing it lightly in goodbye before slowly vanishing in a sizzle of red sparks.

Robin nodded with Slade’s words, figuring he had to believe he was telling the truth. He blinked in surprise as the ring turned into a coin, making him glance at Slade anxiously. He slowly relaxed and nodded, “Okay…I-I will” he agreed quietly. He nodded as Slade reminded him about the effect light had on the ‘entity’ as Slade called it.

He thought about the clock tower, wondering where he’d get a light. He’d have to buy something, nothing he brought with him emitted light… He took the coin gently, looking it over, then glanced back at Slade. “I’ll try...good night, Slade” he mumbled, then pressed his lips together as Slade squeezed his shoulder. As the man disappeared however, he was furrowing his brows, his shoulders drooping as he looked down at the coin. He slowly turned it over a few times, then laid down with a soft sigh, closing his eyes.

He wasn’t sure how this world worked but if he were to try and sleep here, maybe he’d get a dreamless sleep? He could hope… 

———

His body slept for as long as it could, getting a good number of hours before he was slowly waking up. Due to the tower and the build of it all, he woke up to darkness. He groaned softly, shifting a little as he tried to stay asleep but his mind slowly caught up with him, making him remember everything that had happened in his dream with Slade. Especially the ‘find light’ part. He sat up quickly only to gasp, looking up at Slade with wide eyes. He then groaned with frustration and leaned back away from the entity.

“I-I know what you are… I know how you work. I talked to Slade, the _real_ Slade. You aren’t him…You work off of my fear” he mumbled, wishing he hadn’t dropped his bag in the main room, he could try to start a fire, _something_. 

Slade tilted his head at Robin, giving him a considering look before placing his hand on Robin’s shoulder, just like how the real Slade had been doing moments before, only this Slade gently pushed on Robin’s shoulder to get him to lay back down before moving to join him on god bed. “Does it matter?” This Slade asked, lightly straddling Robin’s hips as he looked down at him, “you still want me here, even if you are afraid to admit it. You still want the comfort I have to offer.” He said, his hand moving to cup Robin’s cheek tenderly “the comfort you so desperately wanted from _him_ but couldn’t bring yourself to ask for.” He added, leaning down to press his masked forehead against Robin’s “it terrifies you how much you wanted to ask. You can ask me though. Now that you know I’m not real. You can ask me for everything you were to scared to ask him.”

Robin immediately blushed as Slade moved a hand onto his shoulder like the real Slade had done and let out a soft, startled little noise as he was pushed over. He panicked, looking up at Slade with slight fear this would turn into rape again but it didn’t seem that’s what he was focusing on… He furrowed his brows, confused. What was he more afraid of then that? He looked away with a heavy blush as he straddled his waist, uncomfortable as he shifted under him.

“It does matter” he tried to say weakly but he was continuing on anyway. He frowned as he said he still wanted him, still wanted the comfort from him. He closed his eyes as Slade cupped his cheek and let out a slow breath. He then whimpered as Slade pressed their foreheads together, making him close his eyes as he listened. 

He grit his teeth with his words, a soft groan escaping him. He tried to push him away but couldn’t seem to, so instead he turned his face away from him. “No- no, I can’t. He-he can see me. Just- just stop, let me go. I don’t want anything like this from Slade, I _can’t_ want this from him!” He complained, squeezing his eyes closed as he fidgeted under it. “I can’t want him, I can’t. Y-you’re fake. You’re not real. Nothing you represent is real. I-it’s an irrational fear!” he groaned, desperate to convince himself of it. 

Slade laughed, moving to circle one arm around Robin, holding him tight while the other started to pet through his hair. “It’s almost cute how much your trying to fight this Robin, how much you _fear_ it. Does it scare you to think he might want this too?” Slade asked, his head moving down. There was a sensation of kisses being pressed against Robin’s neck, trailing down though that was physically impossible with Robin’s uniform still on and Slade’s mask still in place. “He had this with Terra, and the way he touched you in your dream, the way he spoke with you, told you he didn’t want to be your enemy.” Slade was looking at him now, his one visible eye bright. “Would it terrify you if he wanted you back?”

Robin groaned with frustration as Slade held him still, called his fighting cute. “Shut up- shut up, dammit” he complained. He then gasped with his words, at the idea that Slade would want this too. He then squeaked as he felt kisses against his neck, making him fidget and push at the man. “No way, no, let go-” he complained, then panted as he spoke up, brought up the Terra thing, brought up the way Slade was in the dream. He looked up at him weakly, frowning and then glancing away as he asked if it would terrify him. He slowly relaxed back against the bed, his grip on the entity slackening as he slowly nodded in agreement. There really was no point fighting it...was there? 

He was scared that he wanted Slade...scared he wanted comfort, companionship, _sex_ from the man… Realization struck him as he thought about the rape, the way it went down, the words that were spoke during it and he furrowed his brows, face hot with shame.

“...I’m not scared of him raping me, am I? I’m scared I...I want it...I’m scared I want him” he whispered, his mind finally seeming to accept it. “That’s what you are…” he whispered, looking slightly miserable with the fact. 

The Slade above him seemed to be smiling down at him as Robin finally figured it out. “Oh very _good_ apprentice. I knew you had a brain in there somewhere.” He purred lightly. The hand in Robin’s hair moving down to run along his throat and down his chest. “Most people are terrified of actual terrifying things you know. Spiders, heights, drowning, _death._ But you...you’re so broken that you're terrified of softness. Of comfort and warmth. Of _want_ and _need._ You’re terrified of wanting someone you’re not supposed to have.” Slade tilted his head, as if staring down into Robin’s very soul “your terrified about what it means for you, to want him so badly that you couldn’t even accept that he was dead. How...sad.”

Robin furrowed his brows and looked away as he was praised, embarrassed with it but as he was insulted, it was replaced with a growl. “Oh shut up” he complained, struggling under him again as Slade’s hand went from his head down to his neck and chest, making him whimper. “Ah...fuck, stop already” he complained. He frowned as the entity teased him about his fears, making shame come to his face at the idea _he_ was terrified of gentle things when it came to other people. Was he like this with Starfire too…? He whimpered, unable to really look away from him as he mocked him for wanting Slade, mocked him for not being able to accept his death. He groaned, gritting his teeth as he thrashed under him.

“Shut up! Shut up, I know okay? I know! I-I wasn’t raised to want those things, I shouldn't want those things! It only confuses this lifestyle! I-I...He’s… He’s not something I should want, he’s the worst person I should want. I _get it_. I understand it, so why are you still here? I get that I’m scared of it, now just go away” he groaned, breathing heavily as he started to lose control on himself. 

The Slade above him seemed to pause at that, frowning, it’s image flickering for a moment as if trying to figure out _why_ it was still there before solidifying again, it’s one eye shining again with a smile. “Because Robin, more than all of that, you are terrified of truly being left alone.” It chuckled darkly. “You’re so desperate to not be alone. To not be hated. To be seen as something worth _wanting_ . To not be _abandoned._

Oh you poor poor thing.” Slade purred, sitting up. “You’ve been abandoned so many times haven’t you? You’re parents when they died, Batman when you overstepped your boundaries, _Slade_ when he chose someone else to be his apprentice even though _you_ were still obsessing over him. And now even your friends have abandoned you too.” The thing laughed darkly, it’s image blurring, its voice seeming to come from everywhere.

“well then Robin, enjoy your loneliness. I know I will.” He said, as it finally vanished.

Robin glared a little as the entity's image flickered, hoping that meant he had overcome his fear, or at least accepted it but as it solidified again, he was gasping and trying to pull back from it. With it’s words, he was going wide eyed, his breathing shallow as it seemed to pinpoint on something in him. As it sat up, he pushed himself up on his hands, his chest rising and falling rapidly with his breath. 

“No...no that’s not true” he mumbled, then winced as it brought up his parents, _Batman_ , Slade, his friends… He whimpered, reaching out for it now.   
“W-wait, wait-” he tried, gasping quietly as it’s voice boomed around him.   
“Wait don’t go!” he cried, getting up and trying to grab onto its body but it was already dissipating into nothing.   
  
“Slade come back!” he cried, gasping and nearly hyperventilating as his mind raced. He collapsed forward, slowly curling in on himself on the bed with a soft sob. He wasn't...he wasn’t alone… he- his friends...his friends would take him back. They had to.   
  
He was quiet for a long time, simply holding himself and eventually meditating before he finally got up, looking around his dark room for a moment only to frown and slowly get up. He had plans to get going...he couldn’t wait around and hope it would come back… 


End file.
